- Date posted
- 5d
Worried future partner will š its odd Im into kpop
So.. this is super stupid and super silly. Let me start by saying this year Iāve gotten into kpop especially stray kids, I love all their music, members, I think theyāre funny and handsome and everything. They brought me out of a hole I was stuck in and it makes me glad I found their music. Unfortunately Iāve gotten ocd and anxiety thoughts about it. Iāve been scared about getting in a relationship or when I do how my partner would react to it? My ex boyfriendās ex girlfriend was into kpop and stray kids and he hated the fact that she was always swooning over them. Iāve always been into anime and all sorts of that junk, especially elementary and middle school, I was just one of those kids, and I did happen to want to have a Korean/Asian parnter cause of that stuff but more because of the culture and just how pretty and beautiful I think they are. Iām not ACTIVELY seeking for someone of that race, no not at all. Whoever I end up with I end up with, I have no issue with that. But in other senses Iām scared I were to get with someone of that race theyād think āoh so youāre only with me cause x y and z and youāre one of those weird anime peopleā and itās like no, Iām not. Iām scared it makes me racist for not having a āpreferenceā for those of that culture but yk what im saying?? Like I said a few scentnces ago, Iām not actively seeking for someone of that race, whoever I end up with I end up with, Iāll love them no matter what. Iām not like a heavy parasocial fan like a lot of them tend to be, at least the bad side of the fandom. But Iām worried that something that brings me joy, and makes me happy with affect my future relationships based on how my future partner may react, Iām overthinking things like āwhat if I donāt end up attracted to my future parnter cause I find the idols attract naturally?ā What if they ask me āoh would you leave me for one of them?ā And itās like I know realistically impossible, but to have a chance and be with someone I have a celebrity crush on, is it bad I would say yes?? Would that make me a bad parnter?? Or Iām worried theyād think itās weird I become flushed at edits of the idols and giggle at them, like Iāve had fictional crushes on characters before but not really on like an idol or celebrity so I guess I just feel like itās different compared to a cartoon. I just keep making myself feel bad over something that people who like kpop are into that is normal. Itās not like I watch every single video or reel or constantly check their accounts, or try to go to every concert and fan meet (cause one Iām poor even if I went to one). I barely have merch cause itās expensive but Iād be nice to have a few things.. Edit: I normally hyperfixate on things and or come back to them eventually, so maybe I am just overthinking and this is just normal for me hahaha.. Iām not used to irl hyperfixations on things or otherss