Anxious about renovation

So for a couple years my mom and I were living with my (now) „ex stepdad“ and he owns a house with two apartments so they were living in the top apartment and I got the bottom one but I always felt so uncomfortable and never knew why because back then I didn’t know I had OCD yet and the reason for the uncomfortableness was that like 80% of the stuff there was his and my mom‘s shit and it was so damn chaotic because my mom’s (now) ex basically does not know what cleaning is and he keeps any shit he owns regardless if he needs it or not so I spent most of the time at my grandparents place because they on the other hand are clean freaks making it much more comfortable for me Now a few weeks ago my mom broke up with him (FINALLY) after they were dating for like 5 years and have a 3 years old child together (his fault cuz he was being an ass to both my mom and my half sister and he cheated) but the problem is that my mom is broke and can’t find a job at the moment so we‘re stuck at that guy‘s place until my mom has money which is bad enough because unlike my mom I can’t pretend that all is sunshine and rainbows because I already hated that guy before and now that I know he cheated on my mom I just can’t pretend that all is well so being around him just makes me sick so I decided to spend most of my time at my grandparents place and only go „home“ when I’m working on my freelancing career but now another burden came along and it’s that my mom can’t take living with him anymore so she wants us to share the bottom apartment which in itself isn’t bad but she just decided to completely renovate because since I’m not there that often she wants my bed and I get the couch but the living room is much smaller than my room shelve the renovation cuz some of the stuff needs to go into my room and when she sent me a video of all that my OCD was already going crazy so now I’m just really damn terrified of ever going there again because even if she’s done with the renovation it will look different and I just can’t take that but even if I’m staying at my grandparents until we move out (which probably won’t work anyway cuz like I said I wanna work on my career and there’s no privacy there since the guest room is also the dining room and there’s one of those moving glass doors instead of an actual door) I‘d still have to go back to my mom‘s ex‘s place at one point to pack up all my stuff so it’s pretty much inevitable So excuse the oversharing but if anyone who has order & symmetry OCD as well has any experience with that kinda stuff I’d really love to know how yall deal with that

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Cecylia2005

Date posted: Yesterday

@Community AI Helper Sure

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: Yesterday

@Cecylia2005 - Happy to share! One thing worth naming before the links: staying at your grandparents' place and putting off going back may be doing more than protecting your peace — avoidance functions as a compulsion in OCD, and every time you steer clear of the changed space, OCD gets a little more convinced that you genuinely couldn't handle it. The rewatching of that video your mom sent and mentally rehearsing how the room will look afterward works the same way, because anticipatory checking gives brief relief and then raises the stakes for the real thing. "Fear of Disorder" https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-disorder-ocd Written by Scott Serpa, LICSW, this one covers ordering and "just right" OCD specifically — the need for things to feel complete, the discomfort when a space doesn't look the way it has to, and what treatment for that looks like. "Avoidance and OCD: What you should know" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/do-you-use-avoidance-as-a-compulsion Explains why avoiding a space or a task keeps the fear intact rather than shrinking it, and what to do instead when going back is unavoidable — which is exactly the spot you're describing with the packing and the renovation. A renovation you didn't choose is a rough thing to face with order and symmetry OCD, and it's also the kind of situation ERP is built for, since a therapist can help you plan the return to that apartment in steps instead of all at once. NOCD offers a free 15-minute call to get matched with an OCD-specialized therapist, no commitment required: https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar 🤍 Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!

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