In crisis mode

@JPLonghorn34 Hi JP, thank you so much for responding to me. I just need someone to talk to because I don’t know if my original post got taken down. Or if people just don’t respond to it. Someone I had made friends with on Roblox lied about being 21. My friend and I met he and his friends on a voice chat room for 18+. Once he said he was 13, he was blocked. We were only online friends for a day, but he made it believable that he was the age he said he was by talking about alcohol and other things. All of our interactions were made while I was under the impression that he was 21. But to go from 21 to 13 is a drastic jump. My friend and I assumed he was over the age of 18 based off of his voice. All contact was cut off and he was blocked on everything after that. I just feel hopeless and unworthy of everything. I just feel like I should have known better, but I didn’t and he lied. My original post goes into more detail. I feel like a horrible person. I’m worried something bad will happen. I’m worried everyone already knows what happened. And it will haunt me forever.

@bellag I don’t think being online friends with someone underage is objectively a bad thing, especially if you weren’t aware! Given the context of it being only a single day, I don’t believe any serious damage was done. I can understand why your mind is obsessing over it, but based on what you shared, I don’t see this as you intentionally doing something immoral. Take care of yourself and remember that you have the empathy to even care about this!

@elena29137 Thank you Elena for your response. Everyone on here helps me to see things from a different perspective and that helps my OCD mind. No, I wasn’t aware and i just feel horrible because I feel like I should have known. It was almost like a set up. That’s what it felt like, so of course, I feel like I did something wrong, even though I know I didn’t. It was just two people playing games online. He did give me his phone number which is blocked also. And we did like a face reveal but he said he had a baby face and I didn’t think anything of it because I am 20 and have a baby face. People tell me this all of the time. But nothing weird or out of pocket was ever done and I never once tried to act weird. Looking back, it makes sense that some of the jokes that were made by him were a bit childish, but he stuck with his story that he was 21. And he continued to stick with it until the end where he and his friends were with me and my friend and he said well I have to tell you that I’m actually 13. I was like oh, wow, okay. nonetheless he and his friends are all blocked because I don’t respect people who lie or intentionally hurt people by lying and conspiring. I understand there may not be anything objectively wrong with being friendly with someone young online, but it’s something I choose not to do because of things like this. I’m just worried that my future will be at stake, but I remember I did not do anything bad. I didn’t know. And once I did know, they were all blocked.

@bellag Hey bellag, sorry for the delayed response here. Life has a knack of getting in the way at times. This sounds like some classic real event OCD. Reassurance is only going to make you feel worse in the long run, so I’ll only say this once — based on what you’ve said, you’re fine. I’ll leave it at that. Now, to address the OCD. Have you practiced ERP before? Or done therapy for it? Obviously you’re on here seeking reassurance, but it seems like you also maybe ruminate as well. That is one of my compulsions and was probably the most difficult one for me to figure out how to stop doing. If this is the case for you, perhaps we could discuss further? I hope you’re feeling at least a little better today!

@JPLonghorn34 Thank you for finding the time to respond to me today. I understand how life is and you do not need to apologize. Rumination and seeking assurance are two of my biggest compulsions. I have been to therapy but have never practiced ERP with a therapist. I take an SSRI for my OCD, and I have for many years. I am doing okay today, I hope you are as well.

@bellag I’m glad you’re doing better today! ERP will only help you in the long run, and I’d encourage you to give it a try if you can 🙂 Do the meds help much?

@JPLonghorn34 I think I’ll look around for an ERP therapist. The meds did help, it took awhile but then I made a bad judgment call and stopped taking them. I’m back on them now and waiting for it to get back to how it was.

@bellag Plenty of good therapists on here who accept insurance. You’ll do great!