Not sure if this is OCD or just anxiety?

I (23F) have diagnosed MDD and anxiety and i have recently noticed things that I have started thinking could be OCD. I see a CBT therapist and we’ve talked about intrusive thoughts but not OCD itself. • I get disturbing images in my head (examples: graphic images of my cat getting hurt, one of my stuffed animals being thrown in the trash which makes me really sad, and other more graphic things — TW — like imagining papercuts in extreme disturbing detail, my throat being sliced, etc). To try to soothe these images I think of things that “cancel them out,” like a fluffy fabric on my neck instead of a knife. • When I was a kid (and still), I was obsessed with being “a good kid.” I remember telling myself “ok, being good starts now” and I would snap my fingers to start. I also always convinced myself that my mom didn’t like me, and it was so bad that it affected our relationship until I was a late teenager. • I can’t speak or have any interactions with people without thinking about how I’m being perceived — to the point where I lose track of what I’m saying and also backtrack and leave disclaimers like “I know I sound so stupid” and saying sorry excessively because I’m so afraid of being perceived as — and being — a bad, mean, messy, “unclean” (figuratively) person, which I am already convinced that I am. But this specifically has affected me so much and I have SO much anxiety over socializing that it’s unbearable because I cannot stop thinking about how everyone must be able to see how mean and bad and annoying I am. I constantly forget what I’m saying and stumble as I talk because I’m so in my head. And I leave every interaction wanting to text them and say sorry for how I acted / I’ll replay it over and over in my head. It has also impacted me in school (I’m a medical student), where my confidence is so low and I cannot answer questions asked by mentors/professors/attending physicians because I am so concerned with how stupid and weird and annoying and unbearable and pathetic I am. I have so many other things but I can’t fit it all into this post. I’m just not sure where the line is between anxiety, depression, and OCD. I feel like I align with a lot of OCD themes but I’m not sure. I am quite obsessive in nature though.

justatiredgirl

Date posted: Yesterday

I too was diagnosed with anxiety(severe) and MDD but I also feel like I align more with OCD maybe Pure O. They did tell me it wasn't OCD because I didn't show any Physical Compulsions):

RayMoe

Date posted: Yesterday

This is something I experienced too. If there's no physical compulsions it seems psychiatrist are not willing to label it OCD. Then you're assigned talk therapy that only feed into your compulsions by constantly giving reassurance. It's ridiculous.

Kevin V

Date posted: Yesterday

As someone with Harm OCD, your first example is a very typical example of that. You even mention thought cancelling/neutralization, which is a common OCD compulsion. I was also concerned (and still am) that my family doesn't actually love me and that they only stayed with me with maintain appearances. I also often think about what other people think of me, especially strangers. I often am very afraid of making them upset or inconvenienced, and will typically do nearly anything to not bother them more than I absolutely have to. I also sometimes think that lots of people would hate me if they knew the real me. Please see a licensed therapist to check if you do have OCD, it's very important to have clear diagnosis.

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