- Date posted
- Yesterday
help i’m so scared
i’m scared if i’m dying or if i have a tumor my side head hurts on my left and it feels like something is crawling on my head and my eye kinda hurts idk what to do help.
i’m scared if i’m dying or if i have a tumor my side head hurts on my left and it feels like something is crawling on my head and my eye kinda hurts idk what to do help.
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@LinesAndMeaning i’m kinda confused lol
@LinesAndMeaning like what u said
@LinesAndMeaning yeah true it’s just ugh i need to work on my health ocd… but how has been ur thanksgiving
@LinesAndMeaning it’s been ok!! i did it with my grandmother, uncle, and my mom and dad
@LinesAndMeaning i was gonna ask how did ur ocd journey start or whatever
I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?
for women…. a couple of days ago i was having woman private pain when touching it and then now i’m having some stomach pain like i need to use the bathroom… but everytime i move in a position like bending down i get the pain like a sore pain or something “down there” i’m so scared i’ve been googling and i’m so scared if i have cancer or something that could lead to death… idk what to do i’m actually so scared if i have something that i don’t know about i thought i had a UTI a couple of months ago and i didn’t i was fine since i got tested for it…
guys im so scared right now and i know my ocd is making it worse. i keep reading things online about the antichrist and whatever and im so so so scared. i keep reading things and i feel so scared like im choosing a wrong side or something. but i know i love God and Jesus. im so worried im wrong and i have no idea how to overcome this one :( sorry if this scares anyone or anything but any help would be very appreciated
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