Soocd. Still awaiting help. Been talking to ChatGPT all this time. I just really don’t know myself. I don’t know. I’m young, so I know there’s lots to figure out, but why am I so adamant that I must be into dudes and not girls? Why can I not just be ok with it???
What I meant by the way was “I must stay sure that I’m attracted to dudes and not girls”. But I don’t think I’m into dudes anymore. I feel so distant and feel like maybe I made a mistake in my youth to say I liked them. I don’t know. But how do I stop being scared of not knowing/being lesbian or bi??
I appreciate your reply. I know it’s not something to be afraid of, but the issue is, I am afraid and it’s really destroying me. At this point, I cannot see myself with a guy at all, and don’t know if my attraction to them has ever been true. I will stop using ChatGPT because I know it’s just ridiculous. I don’t know. I just really want to not be afraid anymore, and live my life. I’ve emailed the therapy company in hopes that I can get my treatment as soon as possible. ❤️
Heyyyyy I've been talking to chatgpt to... How's your experience?
@one.indian.girl Heyyy With ChatGPT it’s just constant asking or analysing. Sometimes I will tell ChatGPT about an experience, and it will be like, “yes this could indicate that you have an attraction to women” and OMG noooo it kills me.
@one.indian.girl I’ve JUST turned 18 but had this since I was 14. So I honestly have NO clue anymore ….
@one.indian.girl Honestly, my ocd has been convincing me I’m: asexual, bisexual, homosexual heteroromantic, queer, etc. And at this point i genuinely don’t know, because it is true that I am more romantic and don’t get sexual thoughts straight away. Like, it would take me actually being WITH someone to know. I know how you feel I promise you. But I know we can’t have reassurance. I try and think back to when I was like 5 where I didn’t know anything, you know? You just lived your life (I assume anyways), and you wasn’t thinking about whether you would turn out gay/straight etc. I guess we need to know that no matter what happens, what is true or not, we will be safe. That’s all I can think. Obviously, I still freak out 😅. But yeah, idk. Trust me, we are in the same boat. ❤️
@AyseTetik Haha.. That time when i was 5.. I dont remember but it must've been the most carefree era.. Anyways.. Also when you think like the more you get exposes to different labels.. do think this could be you? And you get freaked out and dont want anything just wanna be straight and nothing else? Mine is fixed on.. Heteroflexible, split orientation Or does that never happened? Also im sexually attracted first and have romantic attraction in between or later.. It makes me think that i have split orientation or i am aromantic.. Its torture fr..! Also wanna discuss about relationships..i mean I've seen youre posts from long time.. And i kinda resonate maybe cause of our age? If you dont mind?
@AyseTetik Also can i ask something not seeking reassurance but knowledge purpose maybe??
@one.indian.girl I don’t mind talking about it ! Yeah I just don’t know anymore. Right now I’m trying to accept that MAYBE I have a crush on my female friend. I guess maybe I’ll never know :(. I think we demand ourselves to be labelled straight, but realistically, that’s not how sexuality works. Or anything. Maybe if I demand myself to get a very specific grade on a test, I’m gonna be disappointed because it will most likely be a little different than what I demanded, but still could be a good grade. Maybe that’s how sexuality works.
@AyseTetik Wait.. So are you using this "maybe" Sexuality is fluid or your female friend.. As an erp?
@one.indian.girl I think so yeah. I’m still not in genuine recovery. But I imagine that’s what we will accept in order to get better. Struggling this morning though.
@AyseTetik Oh.. I've been having some good days.. I'll pray for you.. 😞💗.. So is that acceptance is for the sake of your to shut up.. Or.. We have to accept that.. We might be that..?
@one.indian.girl Well, I think if we accept to “stop the ocd”, it won’t work. There have been things where I don’t have an answer, and have actually had to accept I don’t know. Those things that I had to accept, I don’t care about anymore. I still don’t have an answer, but I don’t care anymore about THOSE things.
@AyseTetik That's so brave.. Rn.. Im worried abour WHY am i not obessing and why am i calm.. 😞
@one.indian.girl Honestly still in the same boat. But with these things, you have to hold off wondering why you’re calm. Something I think about is, there is no guarantee that I WONT get ran over by a car tomorrow, while crossing the road - nobody can give me certainty that it won’t happen, or won’t ever happen. And I’m calm about that possibility. Does my calmness increase the chances of it happening, no. Does it decrease it, no. You just don’t have this excess anxiety that makes you tired and have ocd 😅. So, the same goes with sexuality. Being calm about the possibility, not having the anxiety, just means your brain wants a break from the anxiety too, and that it gives you time to not be in fight or flight. It doesn’t mean soemthing is/isn’t true. ❤️
@AyseTetik Had a huge trigger and questioning every single THING
@AyseTetik My ocd is telling me I’m attracted to my female friend and I see her everyday at school, and I just don’t know :((((
@AyseTetik Omg.. Same.. Honestly its targeting my one and only close friend.. Like we're super close though she has many others but she is the only friend i have.. So its been going on for months.. "Am i attracted "!? "What was that feel"!? " why am i aroused"!? i was neutral for about a month.. But today got triggered again.. 😞
Just got back from school and let the feelings be. I hate the arousal omggg
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
Hi everyone I'm 18 and recently discovered i have soocd. I remember having random thoughts about men and it would make me feel uncomfortable and have bad panic attacks. Sometimes I would have to leave class bc these thoughts was messing with my head. And sometimes I would avoid men bc of this. I remember having a sex dream about one of my guy classmate and when ever I seen him I would have hatred for him. These thoughts keep on repeating over and over in my head to the point where I don't reaction to it. I don't if I'm slowly realizing im actually into men, but I still have this weird gut feeling in my stomach when I think about it. I really don't wanna lose my identity as lesbian.
I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?
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