Hurt my friends feelings

Hey, yesterday my ex told me something I did that hurt them. This was that I didnt respond in a supportive way when he came out to me. I genuinely had no idea he was coming out (I thought it was a flippant comment) and I was frustrated as we had been having issues with intimacy for months. He said it made him feel awful and it’s only since telling his friends that he has realised how painful my reaction was. I apologised as I do feel awful I made him feel that way but now I keep questioning my reality or perception of what happened. I also keep wanting to reach out to explain why I responded the way I did. Any tips for when you genuinely feel like a monster or did something so outside of your morals? I feel awful

the past month ive been ruminating about a time last year where i hurt a friend by unintentionally bringing up a traumatic memory when i was really drunk, enough that i didnt remember it, so i went 6 months without apologizing until i was worried when they werent talking to me anymore. so they told me when i finally tried to talk to them. i apologized and they told me we were ok now, and still want me in their life, but now they stopped talking to me again and its been 3 weeks, and im terrified that i did something again, especially since they stopped talking to me when i made a mistake before, and wont tell me outright. the event triggered horrible horrible guilt over what i did, mostly guilt About the guilt i was feeling, because its not a normal amount of guilt for a regular person, and eventually my compulsions for confessing and ruminating reached a high point. and when they stopped talking to me again they got even worse . they are aware i suffer from ocd and anxiety to an extent (we've been friends since we were teenagers) so its hard for me to believe they wouldn't do this unless i did something wrong again, especially due to the events of my past mistake. lately ive been wondering, 'have they found out my abnormal reaction to what happened ?' 'did a friend who knows about it tell them?' ive been avoiding asking them if i did something wrong again, because i dont want to make it a habit since i can fall very deeply into that hole of asking for reassurance and i feel even regular reassurance, without the ocd, im the last person who deserves that right now. im scared they somehow found out about my compulsions (which isnt entirely irrational) and i feel the need to apologize to them again. ive been having panic attacks about this. i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix our friendship, and its going to end badly. i feel like a terrible friend, and im too mentally ill to have friendships. i don't know what to do.

Feeling so devastated. I need advice. I have a really great co-worker/friend that I have known for two years now. We have become great friends over time. Today, I came back to work after a two week vacation and was so excited to see all my co workers again (him being one of them). I said hello how are you etc in the way I always do and he immediately said hi! Your face looks chubby. I was taken aback because this is not how you want your face to be described. But I kind of laughed it off and said lol that’s not a compliment. He said he meant it in a good way and that we were friends so he thought I would understand. I again am still laughing and as we were talking about this, a newer co-worker came over to chat. I said to her “would you want your face to be called chubby?” And she said no that’s not nice for a girl to hear even from a friend. She then walked off to go serve a table. Keep in mind I was giggling the whole time because my co worker thought that word was a compliment. I wasn’t actually mad. I brought in that other co worker to confirm what I was saying. Kind of like a hey you see it like this too right? Type of scenario. My coworker/ friend then proceeded to essentially go off on me. He was so angry that I would embarrass him like that and say those things in front of the new coworker. I wasn’t actually mad completely shocked. I was the one who was originally insulted and I was just trying to make the situation light by talking about it and laughing and he competently got so angry at me. I said wait whoa it was just a joke and he said well it didn’t fucking feel like it and then walked away. He then proceeded to talk to my other co workers about it essentially saying “why would she say that. She made me look so bad that was so embarrassing. Etc.” He hasn’t spoken to me since. I am so hurt and anxious by this situation. I hate to be ignored and I hate conflict. I genuinely don’t think I did anything wrong however. I feel awful that I made him feel embarrassed but his reaction to me was just so upsetting. He has never snapped at me before. We have never had an issue and have always been so understanding. My feeling is that he probably has a crush on this girl and felt embarrassed that he said something mean and now feels like he has no chance with her? Idk. That’s one guess. I want to apologize because I hate not talking it out and not being able to explain myself but I always end up apologizing for things that are not necessarily my fault. I just want to break the silence because it’s so uncomfortable. It’s almost a compulsion. But I am trying to stand my ground and be strong and not go into a rant about how sorry I am etc. when he was the one that made a rude comment to begin with. I would love someone’s advice on this and what I should end up doing. It’s just hurts so bad right now I have been ruminating over this all day. I can’t think of anything else.