- Date posted
- 46w
Is this rocd?
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
It's partly OCD. Its definitely OCD that is causing you to have these random thoughts where you question your relationship. But I say it's only partly OCD, because its normal that every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be some days where you dont feel madly in love with your partner. Sometimes for no reason at all, just a bad day. It's perfectly natural. But unfortunately, the OCD gives these bad days way too much importance and meaning. I don't know you at all, but I can tell you just from this short post that you really do like him a lot. Because people who don't like their partner, never really go through stages where they think "I like him so much". So try think about it like that. Hope that makes sense
I’m going through the same thing rn. It’s weird cause there’s this one guy in my life and I think “omg he’s beautiful” like inside and out and I feel like I can fall in love with him. To the point I start happy crying over the thought of he and I being together and becoming extremely anxious of losing him. And then other days I don’t feel anything for him and I forget he exists. It’s confusing. I’ve never heard of ROCD, but I understand you.
I have ROCD and I’ve gone through the exact same thing. Even within one day I go from being so totally in love with my boyfriend to questioning if I actually do love him and if we should be together or not. Sometimes I feel like the times where I’m so in love with him is just me trying to convince myself that I am. But I have to take a step back and remember that if I’m ruminating on these fears and becoming so distressed by them then it is my OCD and not my true feelings.
How old are you?
Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
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