I’m starting to feel like recovery is not possible. I want to love my boyfriend again. I want to be with him forever. The pain in my chest is becoming unbearable. The headache I have everyday is becoming unbearably exhausting. Losing this relationship will be the biggest regret of my life but I’m also scared that staying will be the biggest regret of my life.
Just work on yourself within the relationship and the OCD lens you are seeing everything through will slowly go away and you can learn to deal with it and enjoy your relationship again. I believe in you!
@OTD I struggle to work on myself
@laurfe7 That’s your problem, he can’t fix you. Do it for him not you.
It’s possible! Don’t give up! God loves you!
I want to love my girlfriend again, and each day I wake up I find the urge to monitor how I feel to see if I love her. But guess what? Before my OCD manifested like this, I never woke up feeling how I feel today. That's how I know it's a lens I don't have control over that's affecting my perception. I'm a dumb meat robot that grew up with a lot of misconceptions of what healthy relationships are/ look like, I also have multiple mental illnesses that like to invite each other along when I'm not well enough to be in the driver's seat of my brain. We need to treat the ocd, saying stuff like "I want to love my girlfriend again" only speaks to the lack of emotion you feel due to what is probably paralyzing levels of anxiety. You're depressed, or run down, and you need to recognize love when you feel like this is just wanting to be around them still. Wanting to fight our OCD for that person, to give ourselves a chance to really enjoy a relationship we know we find important. That's love.
It feels so real it's been going on for a month now. I really don't think I love him. I don't feel In love and a lot of the time I'm scared I don't even want to love him again. I want it back I want my feelings back for him he's so perfect and he doesn't deserve this. How do I love him again. Everyone says that the way I act even when I'm deep in a spiral probe I love him but I just don't know. He's only been in my life for a year and it's gone way too fast. I miss how it was and what we were. Every time he's upset I get so scared he's gonna break up with me and then I feel better because I don't want to break up with him and I'm happy I know that. I just don't want to not love him. I'm so so scared. I think I'm js worrying about him going on holiday in q couple of weeks becauwe it's worse when he's not here. How do I love my perfect handsome boy again? I've loved him 5 years and we've been together for almost 1. It's gone too quick. I thought we would be forever. I really want it back and idk whats wrong with me. Help.
someone please reach out im really not doing okay and this is the closest i think ive come to making the decision that ny relationship needs to end but i cant do it. it's gotten so bad that even being around my boyfriend doesn't calm me down or make me feel better out these feelings, it just makes me feel like they're more real. im not confident that I'm just dealing with ocd at all. I'm so worried that my relationship is beyond repair and that I've fallen out of love because of resentment from problems we have. I don't know what love feels like how do I even know and yeah I know lo e isn't a feeling it's a choice but it's so hard to make choices let alone the correct ones when I'm doubting every aspect of our lives and relationship. I don't want to prolong the inevitable and make us both more miserable until we decide to finally end it but I don't want to end it if things can get better and I will feel normal again and in love. not guilty every time I say I love you because then I have the thought that I shouldn't say it because I don't know anymore. How do I talk to him about this. I bring it up but then I gloss it over with a reason that is more understandable and true but less painfu then "I don't know if im falling out of love or even what love feels like and I don't even know myself anymore so I don't know how I feel" and then we kinda comfort eachother until we get too sleepy to stay awake. I know OCD messes with your brain and can make feelings feel so real when they aren't and thoughts that aren't logical make the most sense. I know how it works but having OCD doesn't mean you can't experience the same things other people experience in relationships. So how do you know the difference.
I know I love my boyfriend but I have this constant weight in my chest then I get anxious that I don’t actually love him. What can I do 😭😭 We almost broke up yesterday and I finally had some emotion to the fact of him leaving bc of my rocd. I lost it. I don’t want to lose him but I have no feelings towards him. I’m not excited, I am fearful. I’m scared. Please help me
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