Is it normal in OCD to test yourself to see if you like something (POCD specifically) Sometimes I imagine scenarios or things to see if I have a reaction to them but then feel guilty about imagining it afterwardsโฆ
it's a compulsion to reassure yourself, and in the end will do more harm than good and make the feelings/thoughts worse. Do your best to put it a stop to your compulsions when you recognize what is happening. Remember ocd will make you believe the worst things that aren't true. You are okay and not alone. So many people experience exactly what you are dealing with.
testing myself used to be one of my biggest compulsions, like where I would try to prove things to myself so the fear would go away but it always came back..
Very normal, itโs a compulsion to find relief from your OCD but speaking from experience, compulsive checking works until it doesnโt. OCD adapts to try to keep you stuck and what used to give you relief will eventually cause you more anxiety.
I litterly do this to I have to visually look at a younger person in my mind to see if im attracted to them its so bad when I don't feel anything I feel relief then I don't fet thoughts intrusive thoughts and I feel good but then I have to go back and make sure again if I don't feel anything
I feel like if I don't think about it I feel like I've accepted it and I'm actually I feel like I'm attracted do I have to ince again visually look and imagine a younger person in my mind to see if I really feel anything
Then I have to do a compulsion like I have to touch something or go back and do something if I dont I feel like something bad is gonna happen to me the next day I feel like I might get cussed out or yelled at which I know isn't a big deal but for me it is beacuse I hate being screamed at or making mistakes I think that gas to do with childhood trama but it gives me anxiety and stress when I don't go back and do the compulsion beacuse my brain is like oh your a p word you didn't go back to touch the wall you didn't turn the lights off and on in a specific order and way it's just exhausting
no clue if this is compulsive, but Iโm interested to hear any obsessions others have that arenโt the โcommonโ ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when theyโre not around) and trying to decide if they โfitโ in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you donโt care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on โenough,โ if I was just having groinal responses and wasnโt actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
Iโve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I wonโt give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that Iโll โcheck/testโ my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that Iโll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. Itโs so complicated but I guess Iโm mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. Iโve even envisioned myself checking and itโs making me so nauseous. I know itโs a compulsion like any other but the sound of โtouching yourself to the thought of a childโ sounds atrocious and vile. Iโm terrified Iโll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, Iโd appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldnโt during the hug? I want to make it clear itโs something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? Iโm freaking out and donโt want to be here anymore. I feel like Iโm the exception and that this isnโt OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but Iโm struggling and donโt know what to do.
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