Is it normal in OCD to test yourself to see if you like something (POCD specifically) Sometimes I imagine scenarios or things to see if I have a reaction to them but then feel guilty about imagining it afterwardsβ¦
it's a compulsion to reassure yourself, and in the end will do more harm than good and make the feelings/thoughts worse. Do your best to put it a stop to your compulsions when you recognize what is happening. Remember ocd will make you believe the worst things that aren't true. You are okay and not alone. So many people experience exactly what you are dealing with.
testing myself used to be one of my biggest compulsions, like where I would try to prove things to myself so the fear would go away but it always came back..
Very normal, itβs a compulsion to find relief from your OCD but speaking from experience, compulsive checking works until it doesnβt. OCD adapts to try to keep you stuck and what used to give you relief will eventually cause you more anxiety.
I litterly do this to I have to visually look at a younger person in my mind to see if im attracted to them its so bad when I don't feel anything I feel relief then I don't fet thoughts intrusive thoughts and I feel good but then I have to go back and make sure again if I don't feel anything
I feel like if I don't think about it I feel like I've accepted it and I'm actually I feel like I'm attracted do I have to ince again visually look and imagine a younger person in my mind to see if I really feel anything
Then I have to do a compulsion like I have to touch something or go back and do something if I dont I feel like something bad is gonna happen to me the next day I feel like I might get cussed out or yelled at which I know isn't a big deal but for me it is beacuse I hate being screamed at or making mistakes I think that gas to do with childhood trama but it gives me anxiety and stress when I don't go back and do the compulsion beacuse my brain is like oh your a p word you didn't go back to touch the wall you didn't turn the lights off and on in a specific order and way it's just exhausting
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldnβt during the hug? I want to make it clear itβs something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? Iβm freaking out and donβt want to be here anymore. I feel like Iβm the exception and that this isnβt OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but Iβm struggling and donβt know what to do.
Iβm 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Donβt get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you wonβt prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you havenβt tried it: and itβs that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I donβt want I donβt want I donβt want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I donβt wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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