for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?
My advice is: sit with the feeling. I know it's the biggest, most unbearable feeling but it won't go away if you fight it. Embrace it. "Hey OCD, maybe I don't love him, maybe I do. So what? I don't have to solve this right now. I can delay an answer and a compulsion for xy amount of time.". And repeat this every time you hear the OCD voice. Face your fears, expose yourself to triggers step by step. Work on you radical self acceptance. We are human beings. We don't feel the same everyday. Our emotions fluctuate a lot. And the brain has a lot of power over how we perceive emotions. How can you expect your body to feel love if it's in constant fight or flight. It's trying to survive right now. When you are anxious you can't feel good feelings. I know want to feel good, you want to feel love. Don't chase a feeling. Get comfortable with where you are right now
I struggle really bad with ROCD, it can be hard to distinguish real and valid feelings and OCD. You’re not alone!
I suffer with the same issue I recently felt like I didn’t wanna be in the relationship but I started to wonder why and I was about to notice that I’ve been setting little goal for him based off TikTok and what I see. And it made me see him as not enough or not what I want but it’s not that he isn’t what I want but more that there I things I wanna see in him that I don’t so I had to make a decision to stay or go I choose to leave but after being away I knew I wanted to be with his flaws and all now we’ve are back together and thoughts come but I just let them be and remind my self that maybe he isn’t my forever person but maybe he is a either way that’s a possibility I can live with, that’s helps me see clearly more than blurred by social media
Are you able to see a ocd therapist that practices ERP and accepting uncertainty?
@No matric certificate yes i’m currently 4 weeks into therapy
I have an amazing fiance, our anniversary is coming up soon and I'm very excited, but my head keeps going back and forth on I love him or actually you don't love him. You hate him. It's so distressing. I keep looking up things to save relationships and comparing our relationships to other people like what am I doing wrong? And anytime I think of it, I also start thinking what if all of this is just in my head and it's not real or I'm just faking all of this. It's constant back and forth and it's making things hard. I'm not texting him as much as I use to and he noticed it. He feels bad and I don't want him to think it's his fault. He's the best fiance I've ever had and I don't want to lose him, but I want these thoughts to go away. Is it even ROCD or am I just losing it? I know I have OCD around food and gross sexual intrusive thoughts but I don't know if it's effecting other aspects of my life (I was only recently diagnosed) Please help, anyone.
Flagged as triggering to be safe I’ve never been in a real relationship before… you can guess why lol. But I really want the one I’m in to work out. Still I can’t help but be scared that I don’t actually have feelings for him. I’m scared that I’m leading him on? And I’m scared because I can no longer identify what’s real and what’s ocd. To make matters worse we went on winter break from college and we are long distance so I went from seeing him every day and now I haven’t seen him for four weeks. I’m going to see him in two days and I was trying to lay out an outfit that he would see me and think “wow” in. But I started to wonder, am I doing this cause I like him or because I just want him to like me and I don’t have feelings for him. I feel like a terrible person. The combo of no relationship experience plus the ocd plus winter break is distressing. (We’ve been together three going on four months)
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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