Silverymoon
- Date posted
- 1y
I feel like I deserve it
I feel like i deserve a head full of pain because I’ve been so toxic and I’ve done things I’ve never been held accountable for so it feels like my punishment that I deserve
ParadisaParadisa
- Date posted
- 1y
Think of it this way, the more you punish yourself like that the more toxic you’ll be. You gotta forgive yourself for your mistakes, I understand it feels crappy to have hurt others but no one is perfect and as long as you’ve learned from it, all you can do is move forward. I understand 100% like I feel soooooo guilty over some things in past relationships that still get me but I know that obsessing over the past won’t get me ANYWHERE near the future. I unfortunately obsess over improving though 🥲
ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Myself very much included, a common feeling amongst people battling OCD is a lack of self compassion. We usually don’t need someone else reprimanding us because we got that covered ourselves. When I first received my diagnosis, I used that to mean that I don’t deserve anything nice in life, and I just beat myself down more and more and more. You really should have heard how “helpful” my thoughts were when I turned my back for a moment and my 18 mo old daughter turned and fell and scratched her back. You may or may not have done things that you are not proud of, but truthfully, so does everyone. Things happen. Our choices may or may not be the right one in the moment or they may or may not influence an event. You can only make the decision you feel is best in the moment, and whatever happens will happen. If you haven’t, I recommend seeing a therapist specialized in treating OCD. They would definitely be someone you can share more with about why you feel you deserve this, and help you work through those feelings and to gain the tools to have whenever something new occurs in your life that your brain wants you to feel bad about
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Infectedpick...
- Date posted
- 21w
Everyday is a constant cycle of regret and misery
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
sanshine
- Date posted
- 9w
Was I a bad person
Was I a bad person before this life and is God punishing me. Sometimes I think I have a reverse punishment. Like God knew I'd be a horrible adult so that's why I was abused as a kid. I wasn't horribly abused but I didn't really realize I was until my psychiatrist told me I was. I hate myself
user2826728292
- Date posted
- 5w
Idk what a solution for me could be
I need to find a solution fast to stop this way I’m living but I don’t think it’s possible, I’m in a constant state of pain from being tormented with guilt and warped memories. I know some of the memories to be true and some are all jumbled together so they get warped. It kills me to not know if I’m evil or not , I’m always thinking of the bad things I did when I was like 13 and didn’t know much about what’s truly right and wrong. I just feel like such a bad bad person , I don’t want any form of relationships at all because then I’ll have to confess everything bad I believe I’ve done or else I’m lying to them about who I am. I don’t really want therapy because I’m not confessing these memories or thoughts to a stranger especially because I’m only 16 and very socially awkward so I won’t be able to open up about this at all. I keep most of all of this in secrecy because I know nothing truly gets rid of the guilt. I also don’t allow myself any sympathy anymore because I just think I don’t deserve that either because evil people don’t deserve any empathy , it’s so hard to live with this. I just needed to get this off my chest since I’ve got no one to talk too
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