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Hi everyone, I am currently experiencing what I believe is an OCD flare up. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I primarily suffer from Harm OCD. I used to only experience it about once a year but since my second child was born, I am experiencing it a lot more and live with almost constant anxiety and maybe depression? So the new thing is that I'm afraid I am developing psychosis. I am scared to look at my oldest daughter (4yo) because it scares me when she spaces out and stares off into space, chooses the color red for anything, or has dark circles under her eyes (she has asthma and always has them). I guess the fear is that I will be one of the those psychotic moms (specifically like Laurie Daybell) and think my child is possessed and hurt her. It is literally hard for me to look at her and I feel terrified to be alone with her. On top of that, I have intense guilt because it seems to be more towards her than my youngest. Has anyone experienced something similar? What type of ERP was helpful? Looking for a therapist now but it is so hard to find one that understands. It's so hard to talk about. Thanks for reading.

I feel like im loosing my mind. I feel like i experience derealization or what. I feel confused like very very confused. I cant even think normally. Im just tired. I feel like im loosing myself. Im scared that everyone tells me that i have OCD, but what if this is all true? I dont think and im scared that other so-ocd sufferers dont feel this way as i do. I feel literally, LITERALLY so convinced that this must be true. It feels like i already accepted that this is true. Im done. My brain is broken. I even started to have thoughts like what if i have schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder. Help me please. Do i have psychosis or what?

I feel so upset right now. Can anyone relate? I keep having this delusional-type thoughts that my mom is out to hurt me. We live together and at night when I’m trying to sleep I get the thought that she is going to come in my bedroom and hurt me. My mom is so kind and loving, she’s my best friend. I know OCD attacks what we love, but I can’t let this go. I try to just reply with a “maybe, maybe not,” but then it comes back full force and says “you’re in denial, they’re brainwashing you to think that way, etc.” and it freaks me out and makes me feel so down. Like it says “your life is in danger, don’t dismiss this!” I keep thinking I’m in psychosis. Like if someone asks me if I truly believe these things, I want to automatically rely “I don’t know.” Because the doubt and realness of the thoughts/feelings deal soo real like I’m convinced of these things. I just feel so lost and confused. It makes me feel sick. I confess all of these things to my mom, which I know is just me seeking reassurance. I try to say to myself if I truly believed she was out to hurt me, I probably wouldn’t even be sharing this with her. But then again my mind always has a rebuttal to bring me back into rumination. I want this to be easier. I want my life back. I have been dealing with ocd for years now and this flare up has been the worst yet. Please, I know I’m seeking reassurance, but can anyone relate to any of this?