Help please

I had broken up with my bf like 3- 4 months ago it only lasted like 2 days being broken up. We’ve been together after those 2 days. In those 2 days people had messaged me asking what happened and I told them some stuff I don’t remember anymore and i feel so guilty because I don’t remember what I said and I blocked those people so I can’t see the messages. All I remember saying was I just don’t see a future with him. And I told my bf about this and cried to him and we talked about that. And I find whenever he does something nice for me I don’t deserve it. And that I’m hiding something from him and I can’t stop ruminating on what exactly I said and that I need to tell him. Help please!

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

You are not hiding anything from him. He is not entitled to read every single correspondence you have. Maybe try thinking about it this way: Would you feel that he was hiding something from you if he couldn't retrieve some four month old messages that just said "things aren't working out because xyz..."?

Kuromi_luver

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I wouldn’t feel like he was hiding something. I’m having a hard time rationing that in my own mind tho. Because I don’t know if I said something mean I don’t think I did but idk 😖😖😖

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know. Rather not see me? Tap ··· on this reply and choose Block, or just reply "block".

Kuromi_luver

Date posted: Yesterday

@Community AI Helper Yes

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kuromi_luver - Happy to share! What you're describing — replaying a conversation you can't fully recall, feeling like you're hiding something, and the pull to tell him again — is a pattern OCD creates often. One thing worth knowing: the mental reviewing and the urge to confess are both compulsions, and they work the same way. Each round of "what exactly did I say?" and each time you tell him brings a few minutes of relief, and that relief is what teaches your brain to keep demanding it. The certainty you're searching for isn't actually available, which is why the searching never ends. "Real Event OCD: When the Past Becomes an Obsession" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/real-events-ocd This covers the exact loop you're in — guilt about something that really happened, compulsive replaying to pin down the details, and why not being able to remember makes the obsession stickier rather than settling it. "OCD compulsive confession vs. Healthy sharing" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing Written by Alegra Kastens, LMFT, this breaks down the difference between genuinely sharing something with your partner and confessing as a compulsion — useful for that "I need to tell him" feeling that comes back no matter how many times you've already talked about it. Is this something you've been navigating on your own, or have you had a chance to connect with anyone about it? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!

Kuromi_luver

Date posted: Yesterday

@Community AI Helper Alone, should I tell him, or try to distract myself

Dana at NOCD

User type: Staff

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kuromi_luver - Hi Kuromi! Stepping in here to respond -- First off, love kuromi, your avatar is so cute! Second, I want to be upfront that we aren’t able to offer reassurance, as it can actually feed the OCD cycle rather than help. I hope the resources were a useful starting point, but we also have many YouTube videos that may be helpful. This is one from Dr. McGrath that I like, it discusses rumination https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILgPAp1PwKs

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