Nausea with partner

Is it normal to feel nauseous with a partner… We’ve been together almost a year now and I had a little bit of relationship OCD in the beginning. Just thoughts like am I attracted to him do I love him etc. etc. and it eventually went away. We have that special best friends that are also each others partner dynamic. He’s a great partner, there were some problems in the relationship that started in May, but since then he started going to therapy and working on it for himself, mainly, not just to be a better partner for me, but to be a better person. There hasn’t been any issues as of late, but the relationship OCD has started coming back and now when I’m with him, when I smell his cologne, when I kiss him, when I hug him, when I FaceTime him, I feel nauseous… Or this tightness in my throat. Sometimes it’s due to thoughts, but most of the time it’s immediate nauseous with no thought accompanying it. My brain keeps telling me that I like him as just a friend because if I think of kissing or doing anything intimate with my friends, I get nauseous, so if I feel nauseous around him, that must mean I like him was just a friend. And I have these thoughts where the only reason I’m with him is because I know we couldn’t be friends, because we both have this no being friends with our exes rule. So my thoughts just tell me that I want him in my life, so I stay in a relationship with him and I actually have physical aversion to him. But sometimes I’m so happy with him, I made him a 365 day jar, I’m making him a blanket right now, I finger knit it. And I started all these things when I was fine, but now that I’m not, I get nauseous while even doing those things. I just need to know if the nausea is normal, I know some people say it is and that I must love my partner because I would know for sure if I Didn’t. But when I read those comments, my brain just kind of circles around well now you feel like you’re 100% for sure don’t love him. Like even after writing this my brain just repeats that I’m lying and know I don’t love him and am biasing things. He’s really sweet, goes to church with me, has a great relationship with my family, and doesn’t push me in intimate ways (I had problems with my last relationship) and he’s so sweet. I just don’t know what to do, my mind keeps telling to break up with him and I feel like that’s the only option I have because I never experienced this with a previous partner before. Has anybody else experienced this? And if so, any advice?

CarinaW

Date posted: Yesterday

I'm not experiencing this exact thing but something came up in my marriage that has me questioning every day if I still love my partner. And it feels completely exhausting to feel like I don't know for sure. So I feel like I kind of relate.

tarantula ke...

Date posted: Yesterday

If you don't know if you are attracted to them, then you aren't. It really is as simple as that even though it's blunt. I've been married 12 years and actual stable long term love is unmistakable. Being with them completes you in a way you didn't know you were missing. It's safety and comfort and warmth when they are around. Some people are just good friends and nothing more. If you don't have that feeling, you are just wasting his time and yours.

anonymous.ash

Date posted: Yesterday

@tarantula keeper This is incredibly incorrect and dangerous to post on an ocd forum. OCD attacks the things we value most. The truth is that attraction is subjective. Feelings are subjective. There is no right or wrong way to feel in a relationship, and relationships and attraction ebb and flow. OCD is the doubting disorder. It causes doubt. The truth of the matter is there is no way to know for sure whether you, or OP, or anyone, is truly attracted to their partner or not. Sitting in the discomfort and building up a tolerance to it is the only way that you’ll be able to get clarity. And the truth of the matter is- you will never be able to say with 100% certainty that you are or aren’t attracted to your partner, OP, and ocd treats this fact as dangerous. My advice is: sit with the discomfort and don’t make any major decisions while in an incredibly anxious state. It sounds like the urge to breakup is a compulsion.

OCD_Survivor

Date posted: 9h

@anonymous.ash Thank you. I know it most likely is. It’s mainly that I base it off my first relationship because that’s the only one I ever had and there were so many abusive things that my ocd never kicked in relationship wise. And I feel like me and my boyfriend are the closest friends as well as partner which I know is healthy but my mind just keeps using that as a reason I only love him as a friend. I know the nausea is a manifestation of anxiety, but then when I have it at the idea of doing intimate with my friends as well my brain treats it as a correlation. Thank you though. I feel a little more sane and seen lol 😂.

Julwin

Date posted: 23h

You are not alone. Remember that. It will get better.

Julwin

Date posted: 23h

Been through this before. Feels good to acknowledge that I’m not alone!

OCD_Survivor

Date posted: 9h

@Julwin Thank you, so many people brains don’t jump to the maybe I love him as just a friend because they don’t correlate the nausea with the partner and the nausea with the friend (despite them being caused by different things). It’s nice to know that someone else has experienced this before and that I’m not nuts or a horrible person 😂

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