So OCD and Rocd

Hello. Everyone it’s been a while since I’ve typed on here because I’ve been from so ocd to rocd . But now it’s both attacking me. So recently I was on TikTok and saw a guy who I thought wow he looked good back then. Then it spiraled into an are u gay and I panicked and got anxious and turned red because of the anxiety and fear of that. Then I started getting scared for the day and then eventually it stayed in the back of my head. I couldn’t think and eventually in the next while my friends said they wanted to go to a rave and my friend said that they were bringing their gay friend to it and sometimes they joked around that they ask the gay friend if I was cute and he said that I am attractive. Yk how that feels as someone with so ocd. So I kinda was like what if I engage with him or what if I like him and what if I let him do something to me or I do something to him. I then looked up his instagram because I was avoiding him in anyway and I saw his instagram and he js looks like a normal fit dude but I knew he was gay. So it made me think if I think he is attractive or a good looking guy or compliment how he looks in anyway does that mean I’m gay, do I like him and then anything related to working out or anything related to my friend he then pops up. And it scares me thinking why am I thinking of him does that mean I feel something for him and etc. I have a girlfriend of 2 and a half years so it not only interferes with my relationship and rocd but it makes me think yk do I like my gf is that why I can’t feel the love strongly , am I not in love, am I js staying in the relationship to not be gay. Also me and my gf have been having problems recently in our relationship like communication and other things people have. I genuinely js want to love this girl and be in love with her without all these thoughts coming up and if I could I would give up my arm and leg to js be happy with her forever. I told her about my “ocd” today for the first time and she looked confused. I told her I suffered from subtypes like false memory, religious, harm, contamination, and the two biggest ones rocd and so ocd. So I told her and she gave me a hug and said we’ll get through it and I felt slightly better until after she left. All the thoughts rn came up. I felt like she doesn’t understand still but I hope she does. I js wanna be happy I’ve had a crush on her since the 10th grade and we barely dated at the end of senior year. But right before we dated march 2024 in December 2023 all these thoughts popped up of so ocd all from a. Little thought in my head saying “what if I’m gay” and me researching scared me even more. I later in the year got therapy and they gave me ocd suggestions that help people with ocd. Basically typical ocd treatment ,my therapist told me sounds like ocd idk if you have heard of it and I knew all about it I js didn’t wanna self diagnosed but I never heard the words you have ocd. Which scares me rn too. I js want peace in my relationship l, peace in my mind, and peace in the future. It’s torturing me and it wasn’t this bad since August 2024. The so ocd went away until now and the whole time it was js rocd. Js do I love her, am I losing feelings, what if I cheat on her or she cheats on me, what if I lose her and she replaces me in the future, she’s gonna be happy with someone else if I leave. I’ve been panicking every day. And not knowing if I have ocd fully also scares me. I can talk privately about more before all this like more times that sounded like ocd to me. Please help me.