Liking someone who likes someone else?

Hey, not sure if this is ocd related but I don't have many other places to talk about this and I need a neutral perspective and advise. In this instance I have a friend who has a brother who've i met before but haven't known much. Recently we all went to a bar and I invited my bestie together. It was a nice lgbtq event and everyone was super chatty and friendly. We exchanged contacts, yapped and all that. In a couple of day my friend tells me that her brother has a massive crush on my bestie. This is where it becomes complex - i kinda like that brother. (On top of that bestie not very much into dating rn). Anyway it's a week later and I learnt they're texting. Not anything crazy from what I know just viking. Brother studies something my bestie is interested in but he might like him too idk. So now I'm in an awkward position kinda wingmaning my bestie and him together with his sister and idk whomst to tell or if I even should. The ocd part is that I can't stop thinking about him. He even appeared in my dreams and it's becoming annoying. I have issues moving on and get attached fast so finding a new crush will only do damage. For now I'm keeping myself distracted or trying but it still gets to me. EXTRA INFO. I told bestie someone we met at the bar likes him to see if he's interested. He seemed puzzled and unsure and said he'd need to think. I did also tell him I liked that person kinda. Idk if important. Oh and I'm wingmaning bc I feel bad and awkward not to bc I'm like the in-between connection who knows both sides and it'd be awkward to say no?! Idk boundaries are weird. :[ So how do I act? What do I do? Help?

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

Sounds like a complicated situation. I have a bit of a strong stance when it comes to crushes personally so maybe I’m wrong but I always like to be honest. If it’s a small interest and you don’t actually want it to go anywhere/ it doesn’t affect your friendship there’s no need to say anything. But if this is a genuine crush and you actually want to get with the brother it’s important to tell them so you can set proper boundaries in your relationship and move on. Some people are very strict about not dating your friends crushes but personally I don’t think anyone gets to secretly call dibs on anyone, because you’re not entitled to anyone’s affection. If your crush wants to date mutual friends they should be allowed to do that.

ocdbingus

Date posted: 15h

Yeah I ain't stopping them at all and I want everyone to be happy. I just don't know how to move on and not get so stuck on one person (crush) and not feel like it's the end of the world TvT. I feel like I'm the most sensitive being sometimes. I've also been thinking if this is more about no one ever approaching or pursuing me of an issue more than I have a crush type of situation. I really don't wanna get tucked up by this and become jealous or mean to anyone but I am very insecure.

Anonymous

Date posted: 8h

Sometimes rejection is the best cure for a crush. If you keep feeding it with hope it’s never gonna go away. In this situation it sounds like the best thing for you to do is not get yourself more involved and maybe take some space. Do you have any hobbies or friends outside of these people?

nocdnocd1990

Date posted: 1h

just avoid that crush of yours. after a few years it will become nonimportant. sometimes you focus on just one characteristic of someone, and even that is not unique. it's good personality trait to avoid friend's crushes until it naturally fades away. mroeover, don't get involved, you can not have time to connect people, point them to your local goodwill kitchen so they can hang out there together and to nice things to people

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