Current situation and trigger

My girlfriend is currently on a trip with a close friend she briefly went on a few dates with in the past. I trust my girlfriend and genuinely believe she has no romantic feelings for this person, but my OCD has completely latched onto the situation and is telling me that she could be cheating on me. I’m really struggling right now. Last night, my girlfriend and I got into an argument about the trip. I told her that I thought the situation was odd and that it made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to accuse her of anything, but understandably, hearing that upset her, and we ended up arguing. Things have been okay today, but I can tell we’ve both been avoiding the conversation a little. We had a text exchange where she reassured me that she loves me and isn’t going to leave me, but I am still extremely triggered. I feel sick to my stomach and absolutely terrified that I’m losing her or that she’s going to leave me. Logically, I know this fear is coming from my OCD. I trust her, and I don’t actually have evidence that anything is wrong. But emotionally, it feels incredibly real right now. I’m having such a hard time sitting with the uncertainty without seeking reassurance or trying to figure out whether everything is okay. I know reassurance is part of the cycle, but right now the fear is so intense that I’m struggling to let it be there without reacting to it. Has anyone else experienced relationship OCD like this?

Ren_OCD

Date posted: Yesterday

Some response messages I’ve been using to try to help in this situation… 1. Maybe this argument affected the relationship, maybe it didn’t; I can tolerate not knowing right now. 2. “We had an argument. Things feel uncomfortable and unresolved right now. My girlfriend has explicitly told me she loves me and believes we are okay. My OCD is interpreting this temporary discomfort as evidence that I’m about to lose her. I cannot know the future, and I don’t need to solve the future tonight.”

CaspersKeeper

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

That is very triggering and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that- that would trigger me as well. I find my OCD picks up on the lack of closure after an argument or disagreement and likes to HOUNDS it. OCD wants everything resolved right now. Sometimes I do get closure and my OCD still wants more reassurance! I had an argument like this (not in my romantic relationship, family) when I first started treatment and I had to do a lot of 1.“nothing I can do right now will make this situation better or give me the comfort I want. I can handle not knowing the outcome right this instant.” Since it’s your partner- you could also schedule a day to talk about it together? I found giving a set time and date and even putting it on the calendar to “resolve” the issue can help my OCD to cool down a bit- because you acknowledged it and give it a destination almost. 😅 I’ve even done this before without telling the other party! I put in my calendar “handle so and so if it still bothers me”… and sometimes I just end up deleting it bc it resolved itself or wasn’t as big as it felt in the moment.

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