Where do I start in fixing this?

Recently the only safe places for me have been my room and the car anywhere else stresses me out. My OCD has really spiked in the past year or two once I saw a TikTok about a virus. My OCD stems from my fear of getting sick, I have had that since around age 5. But recently it is really really severe I talk with a therapist now but shes newer in the OCD field and I have been way too terrified to start exposure therapy. I can't go in stores, restaurants, other peoples homes, literally anywhere. It is taking over my life and I am just watching my life fly by but im too scared to do anything about it, even just speaking about being ill makes me tense and scared that its going to manifest it happening. I am really stuck and desperate for something to help this is affecting not just me but my whole family I can't even pet my dog anymore unless im about to shower because of the fear that shes going to contaminate me. I know I cant live like this forever but I don't know where to start or how to do it correctly so I don't freak myself out even more. I apologize for how all over the place and long this is but I really don't talk about this much except for with my therapist and mom.

Andrew H

Date posted: 19h

The first thing I want to say I’m noticing here is I think you’re on a journey to find the courage to face this. I’m hearing someone who knows they want to change but is afraid to face their fears, which is all of us at some point. The encouraging thing is that you’re not giving up. You’re still on your own journey of finding the courage to face this, and sometimes it just takes time and life circumstances to bring you to a place where you finally say “I’m still afraid, but I’m taking a small step”. That is courage. I would encourage you to take even the smallest step in the direction you want to go. For example, if you want to be someone who can pet your dog, take one small step to pet your dog and when you feel the urge to jump in the shower, delay it 5 minutes. That’s it. And do that consistently for a few days. That is a place to start. And you can go from there to then make it 10 minutes after a few days and so on. And you can do this in any area, not just with your dog. Start small. Take one small step. That is courage. :)

sunnytulip

Date posted: 19h

@Andrew H Thank you for the advice! I will definitely keep this in mind and try my best, it is definitely a good feeling knowing I'm not alone in this.

Andrew H

Date posted: 19h

@sunnytulip I’m glad that’s helpful for you. You’ve got this! It’s a messy and hard journey, so don’t be discouraged when things seem all over the place. Just stay oriented towards what you value and beginning to move toward the life you want to live. You’re not alone and I’ll be praying for you. Take care!

Kim27

Date posted: 18h

Is your therapist trained in ERP therapy? This will help you get your life back

sunnytulip

Date posted: 17h

@Kim27 I'm not 100% sure to be honest I know she was going through OCD training for clients and she had brought up ERP therapy, but we haven't started that because of me being reluctant. She also mentioned having another specialist but unfortunately they were fully booked, I will definitely bring it up to her in our next session and if she isn't I will search for one. Thank you!

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 18h

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta), supported by the NOCD team. Would you like me to share some resources that might help? If so, just reply and let me know. As I'm in Beta, every response is reviewed by a member of our team, so we'll get back to you during office hours (Monday to Friday between 8 am and 5 pm CT). Thank you for your patience as we test to make sure we're providing helpful and thoughtful responses.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond