Bothered!

I remember when my baby’s pee pee got hard and I wiped him and could feel it when I wiped then I may have felt it after I put the diaper on out of curiosity? I can’t remember if I touched the diaper to see if I could feel it… or if I wiped it just so I could feel it (not in a bad way) more so curious. But tbh there is this part of me that is thinking I did have thoughts but kept doing what I was doing and now since I am having an ocd spiral it’s making me question everything. All I know is for certain my intentions are never to harm or hurt or ANYTHING. But I guess I want to know I’m not a bad mom.

SigmaHY

Date posted: Yesterday

Id say that you need to firstly; Breathe. Just breathe. Know that its going to be okay. POCD is something that is hardly ever commented on because its so scary, but alot of us experience it for better and for worse. You arnt a bad mum at all, things like this happen. Sometimes these situations occur when your changing babies, and they are just a part of the act of changing. The intrusive thoughts are hard to fight, and would I say actively feeling their "parts" was an amazing thing to do? Id say not, but that doesnt make you a terrible person. We all have lapses in our judgements and fall victims to our intrusions. Just take it all one step at a time, hopefully this is a one-off and you are free from this thought moving forward. If not, just make sure you have some safe techniques to ground yourself when these thoughts start to rise to keep yourself healthily distracted. The most important thing is that you didnt hurt the child, nor did you hurt yourself. But your also raising a little human, and you need to learn their body and life. Especially when caring for them, learning things like colour of poo and their textures. This can trigger POCD as your looking near their behind and such, but they are necessary. Just keep in mind that we need to fight our thoughts. But curiosities are things we cant kill and hopefully that has satisfied it for you.

Helpbrooke26

Date posted: Yesterday

@SigmaHY Tbh I cannot remember if I even did it out of curiosity. Like I may have just kept going on about my business. I just can’t remember, so I wanted to make sure if I did do it out of curiosity it was not wrong. Either way that’s definitely not something I do on a basis!! At all!! Just my crazy ocd. I just struggle so much.

SigmaHY

Date posted: Yesterday

@Helpbrooke26 If your that uncertain, you may not have done anything and your mind is trying to convince you that you have. That is the fear of OCD but your not alone and your not crazy. Just try and live your life, and focus next time you do the changes. That way you can tell yourself what you did or didnt do. Struggling in a situation like that is terrible, even worse when its all the time. Just know you always have people to talk to, if you dont you can talk to me or anyone here. Just take it one day at a time! ❤️

Helpbrooke26

Date posted: Yesterday

@SigmaHY Thank you. Either way what if I did out of curiosity can I move on and not think I’m awful? Or should I be labeled as a horrible person/mom?

SigmaHY

Date posted: Yesterday

@Helpbrooke26 Most certainly NOT a horrible person. Curiosity and intrustive thoughts dont make us terrible people, sometimes we cant fight our brain and fall victim to it. Just try and be more aware next time, as its not something anyone wants to repeat. You may in the future need to touch their parts, sometimes kids have infections, skin issues, eczema ect and you need to see the area. That doesnt make you a terrible person. What would make you bad is the intention in this case, there are certainly worse intentions that people have had than a brush with curiosity. Just for your own sake, its not something to repeat. Even with purely pure intentions, its not an amazing trait to keep (which i know 100% you dont do already, and im sure you have NO intention of it). But keeping focused on what your doing when your cleaning can mean you fight the urge or any possible fake memories. Just keep rocking as a mum trying her best, and dont hate yourself for an accident.

Helpbrooke26

Date posted: Yesterday

@SigmaHY Thank you so much. I need the rational explanation behind it, or my brain runs with it more. I know reassurance doesn’t help, but my ocd has been so good until last night.

SigmaHY

Date posted: Yesterday

@Helpbrooke26 For every bad day youve had, ive had one and so have hundreds of others. Its completely normal to have them, and know that you are never alone, and congrats for having a good streak! Its always amazing to hear that people are having good days. Just keep on trying, youll be okay. Which is hard to think, but know that you will be okay. The rational is one of the best ways to see through our minds. Just keep it focused and try enjoy your day, you know?

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 25w

Pocd

I had to give my daughter a bath and wanted to help my wife bear the responsibility also read online pocd to not avoid bathing. I told myself I am going to bathe my child because im a good dad. As i bathed her i went to wipe her arms and torso. I was going to get her armpit and arm but with the sponge I wiped her chest erogenous area. Then i got anxious and did a compulsion and said “im sorry”. Then ocd said whyd i wipe there ni shouldve wiped her arm or armpit. Was i doing anything inappropriate. Or ocd said not to wipe there and I did so did i do anything inappropriate or with inappropriate intent. I hate having pocd and living parallel with this voice in my head. I know my intention wasnt inappropriate i even prep talked before and did the compulsion of apologizing after wiping. Now im questioning whyd i wipe there first before her arms and armpit since ocd told me to avoid her chest. Then i worry did i have ocd intrusive thought saying i wanted to wipe there and if i had this thought and i wiped there than it means i acted on the thought. I know i wouldnt do anything inappropriate to my child and i know my intent wasnt wrong.

sanshine

Date posted: 23w

Brain is frazzled adults only please

Worried about situation that happened with nephew new memory or not idk I'm scared Worried about situation that happened with nephew I'm so scared when I was holding my nephew I thought " I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him" ( not the exact words don't want to be extremely graphic) I began to bump him like how people bump babies on their hips he was on my stomach cuz that's how he was handed to me. Now I fear I remember also thinking if his diaper would stimulate his private part or something like that IDK LIKE I FEEL LIKE I REMEMBER THINKING THAT BUT ALSO DON'T??? LIKE O FEEL LIKE maybe I thought this at a different time for whatever weird reason but then I'm scared that it makes sense it would happen when I held him. Does it change the situation?????I feel extremely sick because I don't know why I would think that or if it was my brain or me. Idk if it was or wasn't cuz I felt his diaper against me? Was I curious if it would? It feels like I was curious but wth why???Was it just something weird I thought? Am I actually a monster? I had been having disturbing thoughts I'm pretty sure that were related to my POCD in general for a while before that. Ik my nephew didn't get hurt but I'm so scared why would I do something like that I feel so sick and disgusted. I know away from that situation I have no sexual interest or attraction towards him I'm just so freaked out and disgusted. I don't wanna be a bad person and I don't want my worst fear to be true.

roszip-0toMd...

Date posted: 21w

Please help!!!

TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help

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