I don’t know what’s going on

I’m starting to freak out. I feel like I lack empathy and I was looking it up and I feel like it’s true. It says “Poor listening skills: This can involve interrupting, changing the subject frequently, or not acknowledging what the other person is saying” I do this, it’s so hard for me to focus and listen to people consistently talk, I’m always just in my head thinking about my own stuff. It also says “ Monopolizing conversations: A lack of empathy can lead to a focus on one's own thoughts and feelings, making it difficult to listen to and engage with others' experiences” and “Self-centeredness: People who lack empathy may prioritize their own needs and desires above others” I’ve been so not okay lately dealing with ROCD and it got so bad that I started to really not feel anything like numb. And then he broke up with me and it’s been worse and worse, the one person who knew me the most in the world for 10 years is gone. and now idk how to explain it all, I just feel like something is wrong with me, I had harm ocd years ago and it’s been popping up lately and honestly Im wondering if I’m just a psycho and this is just who I am. And I’m getting so much anxiety that this is how I’m going to think and feel for the rest of my life. Like I’ll never find someone that will know me cause why would you ever share this kind of stuff with someone. I’m so scared there’s something wrong with me. I grew up with an awful relationship with my mom, always screaming and always fighting, I work in the medical field and I absolutely hate it and the patients annoy me and are rude and, I got a dog to make me happy but all he does is stress me out and I feel like a horrible dog mom, I have nothing in my life that is making my happy, my ex was the last thing I had to hold on too. I’ve never felt this low before. I feel like there’s nothing to live for anymore and I would rather not be here than feel or think the way I have been. I don’t want to be a sociopath or a psychopath but this feels like it’s never going to go away. I can’t even remember the last time I felt okay or “normal” like I’ve always been like this or something. I’m seriously so scared. Can someone talk with me about this? Idk what to do

Bugsthem

Date posted: 6w

Like why do I feel like I don’t care about things or people or others. I hate this so much. I just want to be a nice person and live blissfully and healthy and happy but I’ve grown up the way I have and someone told me that I grew up this way and can’t change and I think that’s so rude and not true. But maybe I’m just like this. Maybe I’m not meant to be with anyone and just live this awful lonely life. Everyone always leave and that’s how my life is

Waffles2246

Date posted: 6w

I’ve been down this rabbit hole. I promise this is a sticky thought and OCD. The things you feel you lack- you can work on. Even a lack of empathy isn’t something that can’t be worked on, which I doubt you have 0 empathy, maybe emotional intelligence needs to be exercised more but that comes with time and practice. Can you talk to a therapist, have friends to talk to and keep you busy, and stay busy yourself for a while? When you get into spirals, knitting, or colouring or yoga or anything may help (easier said than done) or DBT skills.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

Whenever I start googling a question or going on Reddit threads, I catch myself now and remind myself - nothing good can come of this. I used to spend hours and hours. Sometimes I relapse. Nothing online will give me a definitive answer! I have to sit with the fact that like.. maybe I am this way SOMETIMES but it doesn’t define me.

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