Would i know if i am losing feelings for my partner? How would i know? I feel disconnected and irritated by him recently and its scaring me that ive lost feelings and just dont want to leave because i am comfortable
So you are going through what I have at times. Let me break it down for you. Your brain can only be ecstatic about something new for so long. 2ish years is about that time in a relationship where your mind goes “wow I am comfortable with this person, they are home to me” which is NOT a butterflies feeling. You know their quirks, their annoyances, but yet you also can feel your connection with how deep you know and love each other. Love is a choice, not a feeling, not attraction, not sexual desire, not butterflies. An active choice. You cannot fall in or out of love without choosing that or committing action.
@mcocd This is my first relationship that is going to last over 2 years and it scares me that i will waste time. Like what happens if in 6 years i dont wanna be with him anymore??? Like i cant even imagine that bc it gives me so much anxiety. I dont feel the want to be intimate as much anymore, i feel annoyed, i see his flaws and mine. It makes me feel like im losing faith even though i dont want to :(
@gia wyer Not wanting to shows that this is an intrusive thought or a worry. You can’t predict the future, but you can determine your actions now to control that future. Commitment is love, showing care and kindness is love, that stays and will grow as long as you work towards it together. Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s imperfect and is never 100% all the time.
Comment deleted by user
@Anonymous Thank you for replying, we have been together for almost 2 years and literally nothing is wrong. He is perfect and treats me so well. We do have a few differences but nothing drastic that can damage the relationship. Nothing specific has made me irritated, its just in general. Like when we arent together i miss him but then when he comes home and we are together im like not as clingy as i used to be. Its making me feel like i dont love him anymore and its scaring me bc i did see a future with him. My ocd completely ruined that vision and now i question myself even though i know we are compatible. Its so hard
@Anonymous Thank you for your input. Im new to ocd so im still trying to navigate. I feel so alone sometimes:(
Comment deleted by user
@Anonymous Can i ask how much you pay for your therapy? That is literally the only thing holding me back
@Anonymous Can you check out my new post?
@Anonymousbubblebubble Yes the US is very expensive when it comes to therapy
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
