I feel all alone still

I don’t know what to do anymore I made a friend recently in college and was texting her the other night and she mentioned she was doing her nails and I said nice and asked her if I could see. Because I was curious about what she did to them this time around and since then she has not responded to me I apologized to her saying I’m sorry if it bothered her but still nothing. Some of my friends just don’t answer me anymore I feel like I’m a burden of the ones who do still talk me I’m so done with it all. I’m tired of trying to find love as well I feel nothing to it anymore it’s only left me with disappointment and sadness I feel like I’m an unlovable husk of a person and that I would only ever be a bother I cannot fathom the idea of someone loving ME I just can’t I feel like it’s impossible I feel like everything about me bothers people to the point where I think is it even something I should try to achieve anymore. I should honestly block myself from trying to make new friends and relationships I’m so so tired of it. I feel unappreciated and annoyed that I am the one that has to try to keep up any sort of relationship because if I don’t reach out they never will reach out to me the reason I know this is because it’s been proven time after time since middle school that I am nothing to these people and I might as well no longer try. I don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I’m going to be all alone for the rest of my life I’m just so lonely now.

AnxietyGirl

Date posted: 10w

Hey!! Don't even assume for a second that you are alone. That's just your anxiety talking. Sometimes it just takes a better quality friend to know how to show up. We're all doing our best here. Don't take it personally. You will find your people. It's wonderful that you're sharing what's going on here and we're all here to support you. That's what this community is for, right? Why don't you try to think about some things that you would like to do to make yourself happy? Maybe drawing maybe writing maybe a long walk. Maybe you could volunteer at a pet shelter. So many things right? Never apologise for asking questions, I think it's wonderful that you're involved and care for your friends, but don't take it personally if they don't reciprocate. It's not a reflection of you in any way. It has nothing to do with you. Maybe they're just busy or maybe they're having a lousy day? Or maybe those nails didn't come out as well as they wanted. It has nothing to do with you. You're wonderful and you're doing a great job keeping in touch with people. That's a great quality. Keep doing that but if nobody responds it's not on you. It has nothing to do with you. And as for appreciation. Start appreciating yourself. Be there for yourself. Our bodies and minds are these remarkable interconnected constructs that are giving us this wonderful life experience. Explore life. Go to a museum. Learn a new art form. Maybe the piano? Who knows and most importantly, start being your own best friend. A small thing you can start today is gently putting a hand on your heart and taking a few calming breaths and telling yourself that you're amazing.

Berryx2

Date posted: 10w

@AnxietyGirl Thank you I actually teared up right now but I just can’t find the compassion for myself I don’t know how to get it I feel like I don’t deserve it I feel like I’m quietly going crazy I haven’t even had some of the most basic relationship goals that most people I know have had I feel like something about me just pushes people away makes them avoid me I feel like there’s something wrong with me

AnxietyGirl

Date posted: 10w

So that word right there something's wrong with me. That's a slippery slope. I went through that too long ago. Sometimes it's all about finding a better quality of friends as adults. It becomes challenging to do this, but it's not a reflection of you in any way. As we grow older our priorities change,people change because everybody's going through so much right now including you and I both. Self-Compassion is so important and maybe something you could try. Like I mentioned earlier, it's not even saying anything to yourself. Just put a hand on your heart and breathe and see where it takes you. If you feel like crying, let it out. Crying is a huge release, it helps us process something very deep within that We can't exactly articulate and I personally love crying. I look forward to it at times and when I cry I'm like thank God I'm crying. You're fine. This has nothing to do with you. You're good. What is wrong with me can be such a slippery slope because our brains are prediction machines and they'll start predicting stuff. Imagine if you're having a bad day and this is all your brain is telling you this, they are in an infinite loop and suddenly you're spiralling. I think we need to land right in the middle of that and observe ourselves with compassion again. You don't have to do any fancy exercises. You don't have to do any guided meditations. Just put a hand on your heart and breathe. See how that feels.

Berryx2

Date posted: 10w

@AnxietyGirl I will try that thank you

AnxietyGirl

Date posted: 10w

You got this!! 🙏

Berryx2

Date posted: 10w

@AnxietyGirl I hope I do I’m just so tired of being alone cause when people ask me if I could have anything at all it’s always just a hug

AnxietyGirl

Date posted: 10w

Keep sharing! You are doing great!

Berryx2

Date posted: 10w

@AnxietyGirl I don’t know what else to share being lonely has been the only thing on my mind

veinsoul

Date posted: 25w

don’t know how much longer I can handle this

I went online today playing a social game & couldn’t rlly talk to anyone. there was this one girl that started talking but then my wifi started acting up. it’s rlly hard to talk to ppl online bc it’s tiring having to put up with rude ass people. yeah, I can do in person but I also struggle with that too. the online friends I have don’t rlly talk much and I guess it makes sense bc everyone is busy with life but man. I’ve been feeling quite lonely as of late and idk how much I can hold on. it’s like I’m losing touch with the online ones. I don’t have any irl since 17 & I am tired. idk man I just wanna disappear and spawn in another world or jus be happy. I think I might quit my job and pursue a design job at home depot thru networking bc that’s a plan B I have. that’s if I can even land the job. I think I might take a break from college bc idek what I want atp. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside from this loneliness. I am trying everyday. this feeling is soooo ass

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 23w

I should get help

This past week I realized I have not friends. It makes me feel lonely. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so my only social life would be work or church. I don’t have a job right now due to medical reasons. But I feel like such a fucking loser right now. The voices of my family and myself are making me feel horrible. “You couldn’t even kill yourself right.” Is what my brother said. He told me I need to grow up and realize that nobody gives a fuck. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I really just a sensitive piece of shit? Am I just being dramatic? I feel so lost right now. I can’t stop comparing myself to others who seem to be doing so well. It’s not like I haven’t been searching for a job. They’ve all turned me down. I’ve gotten help and I know my resume is great. Maybe my dad is right that it’s really just how I am. People are hired because of the way they are. I am not outgoing or friendly or approachable and it makes me hate myself so much. I know I can’t kill myself. I can’t put that financial and emotional burden on my family. I’m already enough of a burden as it is. I know that I’m “never a burden,” but the truth is I am. My mom even admitted that I was the most burden of a child and it makes me feel so guilty. I wish they didn’t love me. It’s so selfish and horrible to say that. I know there’s someone out there who deserves my life and family more than I do. I deserve punishment and failure. But I want an answer. It’s impossible to know the future. Am I right? Am I really destined for failure? If only I got that answer I’d be relieved. It’s not the ideal answer, but it’s still an answer. I don’t have to try anymore. It’s fucking tiring. I know I’m not alone. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to realize that this is real life and life’s not fair.

secretuser

Date posted: 21w

stuck in life

my grades are super bad, my ex moved on, i have no real friends at all, and i feel empty inside. i feel nothing but i feel so many emotions at the same time. i wish i would’ve done better in life. i push people away but then complain about being lonely. me and my ex broke up 8 months ago and i still can’t get over him. he got a girlfriend a week after our breakup and it makes me think about so many things. i’ve talked to guys after that but none of them are the same, i got this feeling with him i got with nobody else and it hurts to know i won’t ever get it back. i feel like im not good or pretty enough for anyone. i feel to difficult for a relationship and to tired. i compare myself to his new girlfriend all the time and i can’t stop. why can’t i be as pretty as her? what was so wrong with me that we had to stop talking? we talk every month as friends but it lasts an hour. my heart craves his love again but i know i won’t ever get him back. i remember this one time i tried cutting off all contact with him because of his girlfriend. when i did, he said he didn’t wanna fully let me go because im a good friend to keep around and he knows ill always be there. i don’t know if he still means that because it’s been months but he still texts me first sometimes. i know i need to let go but im stuck in life and i just need him to help me like he always would. but i cant get his help so i feel stuck and confused and sad and empty.

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I feel all alone still

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