Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

Pocd be feelin too real

I get thoughts of kids Whever I think or see an image of someone my age, like for example today I saw a bikini pic of a girl my age and it randomly reminded me of a pic of a kid in a bikini I saw a month ago, is this a sign of something bad? My thought usually come up when I think abt someone my age I’m into, and they also feel like I’m purposely thinking of them, I’m not sure if it intrusive thoughts or not, it feels difficult to figure out. These thoughts also don’t distress me anymore, idk if it means something bad or not, but I do not wish to be a pedo, I hope to eventually have a relationship with a girl my age. Alongside all of that, sometimes when I see a kid I get a sense of attraction, but I’m not sure if it is false or not, to me it feels so real, but I don’t wanna be attracted to kids. I’ve just started therapy, I’m currently trying to find a way to get a diagnosis, I really hope I’m not diagnosed as a pedo. Ik that false attraction comes with negative emotion, but I don’t feel negative emotion when I get what I hope is false attraction, I keep trying to figure out if what I’m feeling is false or true because I don’t feel negative emotions, it makes me worried that it’s real and that I really am a pedo. Not looking for reassurance but can someone tell me if these are pure o ocd symptoms or something actually bad?

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

Your therapist will be able to tell better than anyone, but know you’re not alone and I related to this a bit ago. My theme has changed into something else that also concerns me but I’m trying to stay positive and label it all as OCD and that it’ll go away eventually.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous Oh ok, was my post considered reassurance seeking? I’m not even sure if what I have is pocd or not, I’m worried it’s actual pedophilia.

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

@Shaodidi I would say the end is reassurance seeking. Asking for a confirmation if it’s OCD or not is a big way people seek for reassurance. Lots of people with OCD are not sure if it’s OCD, the best person who can give a diagnosis is a therapist. Funnily enough I have diagnosed POCD and I’m still not sure if it’s OCD or not lol. Very worried it’s not but I try to treat it like it is.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous For me it’s like the thoughts don’t cause me distress but I don’t want those thoughts because Ik that being a pedo is a horrible thing, if the thoughts did cause distress then id be relaxed bc then id know i truly dont like the thoughts. Its hard to not reassurance seek because sometimes it feels just so real like its not pocd so then i go on forums n stuff to post.

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

@Shaodidi I know exactly what you’re feeling. I had a ton of anxiety in the beginning then the thoughts caused no anxiety. OCD can do a lot of things.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous It’s also not all kids that cause it, it’s always certain female kids that cause it idk why or if this means anything bad

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

@Shaodidi From what I’ve found, trying to find a reason or read into it isn’t the most helpful if it’s OCD. If anything it can make it spiral more. Like I said, a therapist would know better than me.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous Oh ok, it’s just that sometimes I get what I hope is false attraction that feels so similar to actual attraction, idk what to do abt it, I want to figure out if it’s real or false, it felt just like when I see someone I’m actually attracted to with the weird chest feelings, is this something that a lot of people with pocd suffer from as well? All of this just makes me feel so worried.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous Idk I just need answers so bad rn, I need to prove to myself I’m not a p*do and never will be be. Ik I’m not suppose to even try to prove it to myself but all of this just feels too real for me, I have to prove it, I really hope that it’s all gonna be good soon.

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

@Shaodidi That’s the reassurance seeking trap, even if I tell you you’re not a p*do then you won’t believe me and it’ll all start again. I know how hard it is to not get reassurance!❤️

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous What abt all the what I hope is false attraction stuff, it feels too real for me not to figure it out, am I just really suppose to accept that it could be real genuine attraction?

Anonymous

Date posted: 27w

@Shaodidi I only just started therapy but I know part of it is accepting uncertainty. So accepting that it could be attraction and could not be is a part of it, but I’m not a licensed therapist and don’t want to give you bad advice potentially.

Shaodidi

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous Alright, it’s just so hard to accept uncertainty because of how it feels, ik pocd is ment to make u doubt yourself but it’s just so real

Shaodidi

Date posted: 25w

Sleep and pocd

When I woke up today I got intense feelings of arousal and urges to masturbate and thoughts of this 12 year old kid I’ve seen irl started popping up, idk why it all happened, I can’t tell if I liked it or not. Or if I wanted it or not.

POCD

Shaodidi

Date posted: 25w

ATTRACTION FEELS TOO REAL, CANT STAND IT

I was scrolling on insta and I saw a post of a kid, I felt a sense of attraction, idk if it was false or not. I hope it was, I got worried and the kid kept popping up in my head, I kept trying to stop it because I can’t stand not doing anything and feeling attracted, I don’t wanna be attracted to kids, im fucking tired of having to deal with all of this every day. I can’t tell if it is real or false attraction, all of this is so annoying, I can’t even listen to music properly without feelings of attraction showing up. I’m not able to tell if it’s false attraction or not anymore at all, it feels way to real to know, I keep hoping that it’s all false, and I hope that I have pocd not actual pedophilia because I was never disgnosed, I was also exposed to porn at a young age, and I’m worried it causes pedophilia. Please help me with these attraction feelings I can’t tell if they’re real or not anymore. I can’t even tell if I’m distressed, panicked, disgusted, or shamed. I don’t feel any of those feelings anymore, idk why, idk how to deal with this stuff anymore, I don’t even know if I have ocd or not, I’ve only ever gotten one short diagnoses that said I have ocd but I lied on 2 questions about feeling arousal which I do, idk why, and the other about liking the thoughts, which I said I didn’t, but in reality I don’t know if I do or not. Also only certain kids trigger the attraction feeling, it makes me worried I’m a pedo because it’s only certain kids that cause it, kind of like a “type” (edited)

POCD

please44I

Date posted: 24w

Pocd (again)

I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Pocd be feelin too real

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community