This morning I woke up and the first thing I had was a sex scene, ocd topic, of course, and a feeling of some urge, as if I was being driven by adrenaline and it really turned me on...it lasted a short time, I didn't analyze it much. As soon as I woke up, I was left with the feeling that it was real... anyone else?
Sexual relevance...anything sexually relevant is going to induce a physiological response. There's a part of your brain that can't distinguish between "good" and "bad" sexual images...it just sees SEX and prepares itself. It's a hard thing to grasp, but it's a remnant of when we used to be lizards...😂. You could have a super detailed, graphic thought about having sex with a kid and you're going to feel some arousal even if it IS TERRIFYING...trust me I get it. Do you know about groinal responses? Watch content by Chrissie Hodges on the topic she's great. Remember, if the thoughts you had were consistently uncomfortable, like you wanted them to REALLY go away, they're ego-dystonic (things that go against one's self and values). Your anxiety will make things feel so real, but MAYBE they feel so real only because you're so afraid of them being true...which could just mean they AREN'T. Your brain is going to try and prepare you for "danger"...so it's going to send you thoughts about raping kids because that's what it seems as dangerous...anxiety=danger according to your brain, so anything that makes you anxious it's going to want to "prepare" you to either fight or flight. The problem is, you can't run or fight from thoughts, which I believe is why OCD and anxiety is so common in today's world. Sorry for the graphic descriptions...it's not a bad idea to blow things out of proportion, it can help you realize the irrelevance of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and urges.
@YouWillSurvive wow, thank you, this is very detailed. I know about the groin, but this is more like some kind of impulse where I imagine as if I'm touching myself in the pictures, and it's not even a full sexual picture, more facial expressions... that feeling freezes me and destroys the day, I don't know like some adrenaline... it passes quickly but it scares me, I haven't come across similar experiences 😮💨
@Anonimus ME🫥 So you're just imagining touching yourself in the scene? Like the one you had this morning? Just trying to understand.
@YouWillSurvive yes..and it all happens in a second..a picture in my head, a scene or a face that is associated with some sexual grimace, and then a picture of how I can touch myself on that...all in a second...sorry for writing everything in detail, but that's how it goes..
@YouWillSurvive Do you think that's not OCD?
@Anonimus ME🫥 It is OCD, I get it. We can have 1,000 thoughts and images in our minds in the space of a second. Having adjacent thoughts that are ego-dystonic/syntonic (if you don't know what these are, look it up, very helpful) can certainly make things hard and confusing. The mind loves to create associations too...it likes to put things together to create "meaning" when there IS NO MEANING. Its annoying. Thanks for going into detail, sometimes it feels really difficult and disturbing to share personal experiences but it's part of the healing journey...of course its important to be a little cautious about who you share things with, but this forum is a safer space than most!
@YouWillSurvive thank you very much for your reply. Sometimes I really think that it's only me that it's so complicated, deep and that maybe it's not ocd.. have you had similar? how do you get over it?
@Anonimus ME🫥 Well one thing that helped me was remembering that we ARE animals, and we have ancient parts of us that have no concept of morality and just want to survive, reproduce, and seek pleasure. A male dog humping a malel dog can't conceptualize sexuality, nor does it care, it just sees a butt and thinks REPRODUCTION...ya see what I'm getting at? The beautiful thing about being a human is that we are human BEINGS...we have a patt of ourselves that is greater than we could ever conceptualize, the part of us that has morality, logic, a heart, things animals don't have. We can CHOOSE how our perspective on these mental issues we deal with, that's what it means to be human. But its also important to realize that we are still animals...we ALL have fucked up thoughts. We all feel sensations we don't agree with, we all gave urges that we don't endorse. We can CHOOSE what to endorse, we can CHOOSE how to live our lives based upon our values, regardless of what the chaotic ancient wiring in our brains tells us.
*we can choose how to change our perspective
@YouWillSurvive you think very similar to me. It's just hard for me to accept it, it seems that my morals are unrealistically high and for no reason... Thank you very much, I wish to continue the good work! Thanks for the support and knowing that it is also an ocd game..
@Anonimus ME🫥 Of course! It's a hard thing for anyone to accept because you basically have to tell your brain its okay even though it thinks you're in REAL danger. It's okay that its not easy, don't blame yourself! Remember to check out Dr. Stephen Philipson on The OCD Stories Podcast and Chrissie Hodges on YouTube. That have great content related to sexual themes.
@YouWillSurvive thank you, I follow her, and we talked a couple of times, she really helped me a lot, but considering that I have this topic (incest) and things like that, I'm either stupid, or I don't know how to do this... I'm just digging deeper
does it also happen to you that during exposure to erp you can imagine that act and scene in detail, and feel some confused excitement that leaves you stressed because it is hard to believe that it is part of OCD, it seems so real! When i can imagine it in detail and feel it like i can actually get arousel about it.
today again...erp and a strong feeling that it somehow arousel me and creates adrenaline, and the longer I expose myself to the thoughts, the more wild and detailed the images in my head become, accompanied by the feeling that I like reality as well...
I woke up this morning feeling like all weird, I went on Google to look at escape rooms and my ocd of corse kept saying there’s kids there and I felt groinal responses and actually stopped on the post that I thought was a child to look at them and feel aroused. My heart sank and now I need to wash my whole body and myself please can ocd do this
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