How to do ERP for Harm & ROCD regarding my spouse?

My spouse is my best friend. A few months ago I basically worshipped the ground he walked on. He’s the best partner in the world so no “maybe he’s not the right person” commentary. Lately my fear of going psychotic has brought back my intrusive thoughts about harming my husband. Now, whether it be from emotional dissociation or medications, I can’t feel any emotions so I’ve developed ROCD. This is ruining my life and has been a month from hell since my spouse/comfort zone makes me feel nothing. My therapist hasn’t given me any info on how to do anything about this other than reading a book (didn’t help). Any ERP suggestions? I haven’t done ERP before for these types of OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

I understand what you’re going through. My wife and son are the most precious things to me in the world. And that’s why OCD attacks those things. I have such horrible anxieties and worries around harming my wife and son. They are almost unbearable. OCD is the worst kind of bully. It attacks what we care about most and doesn’t relent unless we do the tremendous amount of work required to break its grip. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but know that there are others going through this same thing out there.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 24w

Hello! I am so sorry to hear about how OCD is impacting your relationship. OCD loves to attack the things/ people most important to us. If the therapist you are currently seeing is not trained in ERP, then I highly recommend getting connected with a therapist that is trained in ERP. When doing ERP for a topic like this you will first want to identify the trigger that is causing the thought/ fear. Once the trigger has been identified gradually expose yourself to the trigger, and allow the obsessive thoughts to exist. Don't fight them or try to figure them ( or your lack of emotions out). Embrace the uncertainty. Resist the compulsive urges. This is advice is not to be taken as an alternative to therapy, and I strongly encourage you to bring up your OCD concerns with your current therapist (if they are trained in ERP) and ask to develop an exposure hierarchy for these obsessions. I hope this helps. Stay strong! You've got this!

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 24w

You are not alone. Take a look around NOCD's website to learn more about the OCD themes that describe your experience and also see NOCD's YouTube channel as well. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU4ycJNahDdtGbANIhcbifQ Please feel welcome to call our Care Team and discuss ERP treatment options! You can also explore the International OCD Foundation website for other resources/providers. https://iocdf.org/

Mariabae

Date posted: 25w

i feel stuck and with no feeling or emotions

i feel like I can’t even enjoy time with my boyfriend anymore. No matter what we do, I’m constantly analyzing, checking, and questioning if I love him, if I feel anything, if I even want to be with him. It’s exhausting. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel present, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve read about ERP, and I know it’s supposed to help, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like my fears are too real, like maybe this isn’t just ROCD—maybe I actually don’t love him, and I’m just scared to accept it. It feels like I’m lying to myself. I know my compulsions: I constantly check my feelings, analyze past memories, compare my relationship to others, and seek reassurance. I know I’m supposed to stop doing these things, but what do I do instead? What do I do when the thoughts hit me with full force and I feel completely numb? I’m scared to sit with the uncertainty. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll realize I don’t love him. I want to do ERP, but I don’t even know where to begin. Has anyone successfully gone through this? How do you deal with the fear when it feels so real?

Maeday

Date posted: 15w

ROCD and wanting to give up

My ROCD is at an all time high right now. I have an appointment set up, but the wait is awful. My husband found one of my erp exercises where I write a sentence about him maybe not being the right partner. I had forgotten to throw it away. Of course it made him sad. I feel so ashamed and like I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. The sad part is, the thought comes,"if he ends it, at least I might get some relief". I feel like the worst wife.

Jpais28

Date posted: 12w

ROCD advice help for supporting partner

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

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How to do ERP for Harm & ROCD regarding my spouse?

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