Random flare up

I was doing really well but today I woke up and I looked in the mirror and thought “oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m real, I can’t believe I’m me.” Like an existential crisis and the whole day I have been really struggling. I don’t want this to develop into a new theme, I have just barely recovered from a horrible contamination ocd episode and I don’t want to go backwards. It feels like everything is just impacting me today and I don’t know why. Any advice?

Amara

Date posted: 41w

It’s okay to feel like you're struggling. Acknowledge that it’s a tough day, and allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment.You’ve been through a lot, and you’re doing your best. Be kind to yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present. Try focusing on your senses what you can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. This can help reconnect you with reality. If you're finding yourself caught up in existential thoughts, try setting a timer for a few minutes to allow yourself to think about those feelings. After the time is up, gently redirect your attention to something more constructive, like a hobby or a calming activity. Remember that it’s perfectly normal to have ups and downs in recovery, and experiencing these thoughts doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It's part of the process. You've made so much progress, and this moment doesn’t define your journey, give yourself the grace to feel what you need to feel today.

LenaForever

Date posted: 41w

@Amara It’s really bad today. I feel like I’m just in a dream and every little thing turns me into an anxious mess. I don’t really understand why my thought processes are so horrible in this moment, and I wish I had an explanation of why so that I could make a change in my lifestyle or at least have an answer but I don’t think there’s really any reason. I hate this feeling and it makes me feel so hopeless. I know I will probably feel better tomorrow but why do I have to experience turmoil today? Its awful.

Amara

Date posted: 40w

@LenaForever It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed when you're experiencing such intense emotions and thoughts. Recovery can be a non-linear process, and some days can feel particularly heavy and disorienting. It’s common to want to find an explanation for why you feel a certain way. Sometimes, there may not be a clear reason for your feelings, and that’s okay. Acknowledge that it’s normal to have fluctuations in mental health and that not every day will have a clear explanation. The path to recovery includes both good days and challenging ones. Be proud of the progress you've made, and take things one day at a time. You are strong, and this moment will pass.

LenaForever

Date posted: 40w

@Amara You’re right. This isn’t my new baseline or anything, I’m not undoing any of the progress I’ve done, I’m just having a setback. Recovery comes with setbacks, i can tolerate this just like I’ve tolerated everything else. I am strong, I’ve gained a lot of strength, so I can get through this too! 😊

learningtore...

Date posted: 25w

How do I get out of a Flare Up

Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I don’t want to feel this way going into March, I’ve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause I’m so overwhelmed by all the extra things I’ve added cause I thought it was contaminated. It’s completely draining me to the point where I’ve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to me…I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasn’t doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)

jro_04

Date posted: 24w

Scary existential thoughts

So today I’ve been crying all day. My existential OCD has flared up in the past week and it may or may not have been because of me trying to quit nicotine. Don’t get me wrong I had been having thoughts before that but it seemed to be at a calm for a few months. I also have been alone for the past week due to my mom going away on vacation. That may or may not have been a factor as well. But I’ve been feeling really depressed and scared. So much has been on my mind that it would be paragraphs and paragraphs so I’ll just leave it up to the people who have experienced existential OCD. I’ve noticed that I haven’t been giving much attention to my other subtypes in the sense of challenging them. I guess I felt that since I had the scary existential thoughts on hold that I didn’t have to work on the other stuff because I felt like those things were worth worrying about instead of worrying about my purpose or why am I me type of thoughts. I just write this to share and maybe get advice from anyone experiencing what I’ve been experiencing. I’m going to keep going though and keep trying to kick OCD’s ass. Because what’s the alternative? Lol. Hope whoever is reading this is enjoying the little things and giving themselves grace and having a good day. 😊🙏

Existential OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

I Really Need Some Insight

I am really worried because I felt confident about my appearance today, then I found myself thrown into imagining if I did certain things like flipping my hair or just looking good around a certain coworker and they'd find it attractive. I don't like that coworker at all and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, this made me feel awful and I starting feeling disloyal again. I don't know if it's an old habit, a desire for external validation, or what. I can't tell if this was a thought pattern connected to my last post or not. All I know is that I'm really stuck right now. I feel like every time I pick myself back up, I fall right back down again, like there's ice in the road. I can't help but feel like everything I touch or everything I think about crumbles. I feel like my own mind is against me and I don't know who to trust anymore. These small OCD spirals are really messing with my work life, s*x life, everything really, and it's getting to me. I feel with every spiral that I'm getting sucked into a depression again and I don't know what's next. It doesn't matter how small the "bad" thing that "i did" was, but I feel that every little thing is building up to a point and something is going to crash down. I need help. What do I do? Right when everything around me seems to be going up, I feel like I'm being dragged down and I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

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