Im feeling really depressed and like i dont care about anything, and suddenly ive lost all desire for a relationship or being with anyone. I just dont care about anything right now but its kind of freaking me out.
I feel this so much, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it as well. It’s been a few months that I’ve felt this total desirelessness. Before OCD (or perhaps this version), I know I wanted a wife/partner, a happy life, to make things. Now that all seems so distant and impossible, like a dream, and I can barely believe any of it. The toughest part for me is when I hear “live anyway according to your values” but what do I even value anymore? I feel empty. That said, there is hope with therapy and the many, many stories of recovery from people who also felt at one point hopeless. Try to be patient with yourself. One day at a time.
I feel this exact same way. I'm in a relationship of 3 years and I feel so disconnected and so out of touch with my emotions that it's hard to feel grounded enough to want ANYTHING. Combine that with the constant intrusive thoughts going "you're gay" or "you don't want them" and the self-monitoring for any emotion that isn't perpetual anxiety, and you have a recipe for a mental health spiral. Be compassionate to yourself. This is a depressive response. I highly reccomend therapy if you aren't already in it.
@FloralEnvoy Thank you <3 i just want to feel normal again. I miss the old me so much.
@patheticgirl43 I think when our OCD goes untreated for long enough it will inevitably worsen into some manifestation. This is our normal, in that we should have gotten help before this, so our brain didn't feel the need to lash out like this. Treating this as the new normal, is how we return to the previous more confident versions of ourselves. I hope you can find peace, and try to fight your urges and compulsions!
I have ROCD and feel really the same way, just no desire to do anything with him:/
The intrusive thoughts popping up in my mind arent even bothering me. Im just telling them to fuck off because i dont care any more. Im just worried about the sudden loss of desire. Just feels like i want to be alone. Maybe because im depressed? Am i broken? Will it come back?
I just went through a breakup and now I’m really going this harder then ever before but it’s like I don’t even have feelings for freinds I lost all my desire to be wanted by anything or anyone it’s like I wanna be alone but I don’t
Is it possible that I’m so tired of ocd or that I’m so exhausted of it that I just feel like I don’t care about anything anymore? Or that the most important thing that I was fighting for (my relationship) since ocd started I just don’t care about it anymore and feel nothing about it. Like I completely lost myself in it, I lost my identity. But the bad thoughts are still there and because I feel so numb the thoughts feel even more real like that is my reality and this is more like a feeling than a thought. And the worst part is that I have rocd and every time I think about my bf my brain connects him to all the suffer I went through even if it’s obviously not his fault but is it possible that I really don’t love him anymore because my brain automatically connects him to something bad? I’ve started to feel this way a week ago, everything went pretty well for us before it, I didn’t have feelings or thoughts like this but from now my brain tells me that I don’t want to be with him anymore which is crazy because he was everything to me, everything I was fighting for but it feels so real. I feel so burnt out. I feel like there’s no way out of it this time and im going to feel this way forever. Please help! Is it normal to feel this way? Or I just changed so much that it became my reality?
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
Lately I’ve been having moments where I want to be single and explore other possibilities, like new relationships or flings. Sometimes I even feel like I do not want to marry my partner. Those moments honestly scare me. In the last two days alone, I almost broke up with my boyfriend three different times. I love him, and I want to love him without these moments/urges to leave. I’ve been feeling especially numb and distant this past month, and while my OCD has been quieter, my connection to the relationship feels like it’s slipping. I feel like I might be glorifying the idea of being single, like the freedom and exploration seem so idealized. I’ve been looking for posts that sound similar to what I’m going through (yes, I know that’s a compulsion), and I’ve found a few that made me wonder if maybe OCD is more involved in this than I initially thought. I just really don’t understand how. Could it be a mix of my numbness and OCD? Could the urge to explore or the emotional flatness around the relationship be OCD showing up in a different way? One other thing I’ve noticed: whenever my boyfriend is sweet or romantic, I feel this deep guilt or just nothing. Like I cannot say “I love you” back without feeling like I’m lying. It makes me feel like a bad partner. I just want to understand how OCD might be playing a role in all of this.
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