How do I forgive myself for past mistakes

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms for helping to relieve guilt from things I have done in my past that I don’t like that I did?

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w ago

If thoughts about your past actions keep coming up, it's likely that you're resisting them in some way (since you're posting on here, I'm assuming there may be some compulsions involved). I would say the first thing to do is to practice fully accepting that you did whatever you did. If thoughts and images appear that remind you of it, just allow them to be and think, "yes, that did happen." This isn't meant to torture or punish you or anything, it's an exercise that will likely reduce how often these thoughts arise. Once you fully accept what happened (which I know isn't easy), the next thing is to find the lesson in it. Any time we do something we aren't proud of, there is an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. Instead of wishing these things never happened, try to be thankful that you have the ability to learn from them. Some of life's best lessons are learned the hard way. Life only flows in one direction. All you can do is go forward with the best intentions you're capable of. You will make mistakes, as everyone does. Sometimes little, sometimes really big. But we are all constantly changing. If you focus on making positive changes in the present, then you are doing the right thing no matter what your past actions were.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 16w ago

Hi. Thanks a lot for writing this. I'm still trying to accept some bad things that happened in my life without any judgement or without pushing it away in any way. It's hard because I still end up blaming myself for things that I did do at the time and wish they didn't happen. I'm still trying to practice the mindset of "Yes, those things did happen. I'm learning from those events and I'm just trying to be better. Things are different now." It's hard not to get feelings involved.

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w ago

@BigGyro09 - No problem. Yes this stuff is difficult. Guilt and shame can be extremely powerful emotions. Guilt is a helpful emotion when it is regulated, but obsessive guilt isn't good for anyone. It's a common theme with OCD because we tend to think in extremely black and white terms. It's easy to feel like any bad past actions completely negate ANY good things we've done, and that we are irreversibly "tainted." That's one of the many areas where I like to practice "yes, and" thinking. Instead of, "I've done these good things, BUT I've also done these terrible things," you change it to, "I've done these good things, AND I also did these terrible things." It's subtle, but it makes a big difference in the long run to think this way. This holds true for many different obsessions/fears: "I'm going to a party tonight, AND I feel really anxious about it." "I love and care about my daughter, AND I experience intrusive thoughts about harming her." "I strive to make positive changes in my life, AND there are many things from my past that I'm not proud of." This can bring up a lot of anxiety, as it involves accepting some aspects of our lives that we really don't like. That's where we practice the awareness of our body and our feelings. We sit with the anxiety and allow it to run its course. We don't have to fight it off or argue with it to make it go away. We learn that we CAN live our lives despite these thoughts and feelings. The more we practice this, the more we realize how gray and fuzzy life is, and the easier it becomes to move forward and accept life with all its flaws. A long time ago I heard a great analogy. That we are like trees, and past traumas and bad memories are like carvings or marks in the tree. Those carvings never really go away, but over time they become less and less defined and faded as the tree grows. So if you want something from your past to be less painful in the present, you have to keep growing. Guess I'm in the typing mood tonight, haha. Hopefully there's something helpful in there. If not, ignore me.

Username: hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 16w ago

You now is different person than back then person. We change mentally, and physically. For God sake your body cells change every few years. Forgive him and acknowledge his mistakes, and the new you needs to move on.

Username: pammiedee3@gmail.compammiedee3@g...

Date posted: 2d ago

I to have struggled with this very thing and for me it helps to remember that we arent perfect but we're meant to be by our heavenly father. Even he knew we can not be because that's the very reason he made the ultimate sacrifice to give his only son for our sins. Because we are not perfect and will make mistakes. So it comforts me to know that just because I did something that wasn't good or wrong or that I feel bad about doesn't make me a bad person just makes me not perfect and being not perfect is OK. This doesn't excuse anything I may have done for im still accountable but however helps me by knowing no one is perfect nor without mistakes in life.

Username: Abs

Date posted: 22w ago

Things i did as a kid

How do I forgive myself for things I did as a kid? Disgusting terrible illegal things? I’m grown and I would never do them now, but how do I move on?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

How to get over the past

How do you get over your past when you’ve never got closure and you know multiple people hate you and bitch about you and you can’t change how they feel or show how much you have grown? I’ve deep down hated myself for my past and people saying I was mean to them when I was 12-15 years old and I’ve never forgave myself and I don’t think I ever will How can you let go because today when I meet anyone I get paranoid that someone has spoken to them about how I used to be and they won’t like me I find it really hard because my past has followed me my whole life

Username: hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 20w ago

Advice from not OCD person

I want to share some thoughts that might resonate with those of you grappling with intrusive thoughts or lingering regrets from the past. First and foremost, it's essential to remember that our thoughts are not definitive representations of who we are. They often stem from random electrical impulses in our brains and can feel overwhelming at times. It’s important to acknowledge that these thoughts do not define us. Instead, they are just passing moments that we can observe without judgment. Secondly, it’s crucial to realize that past events would have unfolded regardless of our actions. We often believe we are the main cause of certain outcomes, but many events occur independently of our choices. Think of your life as a storybook; while you can read and reflect on the pages, you did not write the narrative that led to those moments. This perspective can help alleviate feelings of guilt and self-blame. Lastly, let’s remember that we are all human, and making mistakes is part of the experience. It’s vital to forgive ourselves for past errors and recognize that these experiences contribute to our growth. The mere act of reflecting on our mistakes shows that we have learned and evolved. To foster healing and personal growth, consider incorporating some positive habits into your daily routine: Get Outside: Aim for daily walks in the sunlight. Nature has a remarkable way of uplifting our spirits. Pursue Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help redirect your focus and energy. Volunteer: Offering guidance to others who may be facing similar challenges can be incredibly rewarding. It not only helps them but also reinforces your own lessons learned. By taking these steps, you can create a meaningful path toward moral repentance and personal development, freeing yourself from the burdens of the past. Remember, healing is a journey, and every small step counts. Embrace it with kindness and patience towards yourself. Have a great day all 😊

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How do I forgive myself for past mistakes

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