Not good!schizophrenia scare

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well . I am not sadly. Idk what to do at this point in my life and it’s really scary. My family seems to not get it really but idk how to explain what I’m going through . So basically I had an uncle and I have many cousins with schizophrenia. All of them don’t take meds and have went off the grid with my family or have passed . I am so unbelievably scared of getting it that I can’t live my life without being scared everyday. I have had so many thoughts and dreams and a lot of come true(no joke) and I’m like oh shit that means I’m delusional and I’m having delusional thoughts and now it’s taking over my dreams and it just doesn’t make sense to me. I am very scattered brain 24:7 I feel I can’t talk or speak right, I keep going through not feeling real or right and I’ll be talking to my family and my brain will be like “ what if this is a hallucination and you’re talking to yourself”. I’m EXHAUSTED to the max and most I’ve ever been. Idk what’s going on with me. I’ve also always been a superstitious person because weird shit was always happening or strangely a “coincidence” that even my family would be like wtf is going on with that. And I never understood it as a child, but I’m so so so sooo scared bc of that and what I deal with now that I’m developing it. And I need help.

Username: Newerthannewb82Newerthannewb82

Date posted: 21w ago

The coincidence stuff is textbook OCD. I had a schizophrenia diagnosis and I guess I still do. I was on antipsychotics for nearly 20 years. It looks like it was OCD all along but I've been right through the SZ system. Schizophrenia isn't like being a psychopath you know. Statistically speaking SZs are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime than to commit one. In my country I fall under the vulnerable persons act meaning that I am vulnerable. If I get questioned by the police or appear in court I get asked questions like do you know what a lie is. The questions children are asked. The meds are horrible, I will admit that, but the official line is that if you take your meds and look after your health in general then you can live a perfectly normal life. I hope this helps. Plus there are 1950s meds (the horrible ones) and 1990s meds which aren't as bad. They aren't that bad at all and when I switched meds I hit the ground running and life was much better. I hope this information helps better than reassurance might have done.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

Not a professional, but I want to say I'm glad there is a place for people like us who are ruminating on certain thoughts like this. I understand the exhaustion and fatigue and I can relate in that regard. Currently undergoing therapy for the first time ever and learning so much about myself and this disorder. I encourage you to stay vigilant in seeking help and staying hopeful! Medication is not as scary as I once believed it to be, and there is so much to this but I feel confident now I can achieve the life that always seemed beyond the realm of what I am fitted for, or deserve. Reach out anytime you need it.

Username: hannahsheppyhannahsheppy

Date posted: 21w ago

@Anonymous Thank you, I am on Paxil and a low dose, but I just have so so sooo much issues that I worry so badly and it takes over my life.

Username: hannahsheppyhannahsheppy

Date posted: 21w ago

Also ontop of all of this my family has always said there’s always something wrong with me and I just fully believe that I’m next to get it. And lastly I also have hypothyroidism, ptsd, depression, PCOS and just bad shit.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

Really scared and tired (please read)

So for the past month I have been dealing with the theme of going into a psychosis/or becoming schizophrenic. Having thoughts like is this really my reality? I am really here? I’m I just hallucinating what I want to see and did something horrible? Very scary thoughts. I’ve also been dealing with harm intrusive towards myself and towards my family. Recently this week I’ve developed a new theme of fearing not being able to sleep and going crazy from not being able to sleep. I lay there at night waiting to fall asleep and no matter how tired I was all day sleep doesn’t come. And then when I actually get some hours of sleep I question if I really slept and didn’t just hallucinate sleep. Which is very ridiculous I know. I’m just really scared and feel so helpless right now. I haven’t been diagnosed for OCD but I’m positive it’s what I have. I’m just so tired and feel like crying all the time. Sleep was the one thing I had to escape from all this crap and now that has gotten taken away from me as well. I just want my life back. Yesterday my family came over and for once I was able to forget about the thoughts for the time they were here and it felt so nice. I’m trying so hard to be okay for my family but I’m not. Im drowning on the inside and I just want to breathe. I can’t afford therapy right now and I have been prescribed sertraline 25mg for my anxiety but I’m to scared to take it. If anyone can relate or give me advice it would be greatly appreciated. I know reassurance is not what I should be getting but I’m just so scared.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

Really need some advice

So recently I made a post about having the theme of fear of psychosis and schizophrenia which has led to the fear of not getting sleep and being scared I’ll go crazy and start hallucinating from the lack of sleep. Last night I was able to sleep some hours after not being able to properly sleep for 4 nights (like I actually dreamt) but of course when I woke up I got the the thought “what if you didn’t sleep and you think you did” “what if you’re just hallucinating it” it made me instantly sick to my stomach! Of course I know I slept but these thoughts just get crazier everyday making me feel like I’m actually crazy. I just want to cry. It’s a constant battle everyday and I’m just so tired. I’ve never had these thoughts before. If anyone has gone through this please tell me what helped you. I miss getting home and looking forward to sleeping not being scared I won’t. And I miss just living my life and not having thoughts questioning if it’s my reality or not. Please I could really use some advice.

Username: alondrahuaman

Date posted: 15w ago

I am so scared and alone.

Hi everyone. So recently I have been feeling so scared and paranoid of going crazy. I am terrified of i will go crazy and turn schizo. I’m so hyper aware of everything. My mind convinces me that I will end up like this but I really don’t want to.It’s my biggest fear and I think abt it almost everyday and I can’t handle it anymore. I just want to be ok. I have told my parents this and they say it’s all in my head and just laugh at me. I know it’s in my head but I physically feel sick to my stomach being constantly scared. Please someone help me please please. Thank you.

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Not good!schizophrenia scare

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