- Date posted
- 1y
Please help
I want to be happy and not be miserable and I feel like I try to help others be happy but I can’t get myself to be happy 😢
I want to be happy and not be miserable and I feel like I try to help others be happy but I can’t get myself to be happy 😢
Can you apply the things you do to make others happy to yourself? Also, I have also wanted to be happy but I realize that no one’s happy all the time. What I try to be now is a person who can handle emotions. I’ve been monitoring my emotions through this free app. It might give you insight. https://howwefeel.org/
I also struggle with making myself happy. I think that Has to do some with your Ocd makes you compare yourself and other things that make you want to isolate yourself and feel depressed and worthless.  When you feel this way, makes you feel depressed and it makes it hard for you to have the energy or be motivated to do things you want to do it’s like you’re stuck in this cycle.
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
I guess you can say I’ve been maladaptive day dreaming. I never had a good childhood I would go to sleep and pray I never woke up around the age up 10 I found daydreaming as a way to cope with the trauma and I’ve been daydreaming since, I still do it now. I always think im gonna meet the love of my life and they would love me for me and accept my ocd and make me feel beautiful and I’ll be rich ( I didn’t grow up with money). But then I would have to come to a realization that I’m not getting better, I’m still insecure with trauma. No friends or family to know what I’m going through and it’s hard wanting a reality you can’t have.
This app is too flooded with posts and not enough people returning help. I really need it like. I’m sorry to be a nuisance but literally nobody else understands OCD & how debilitating it is. I’m so tired. So so tired.
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