- Date posted
- 47w ago
False attraction
Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?
Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?
Yes I do. It feels like a rush of adrenaline and not in a good way (like the moment before a car accident). Flushing, GI upset, shortness of breath, tunnel vision q. It is tough though because anxiety/distress and arousal are controlled by the same physiologic mechanism so it can feel somewhat the same. I am conscious of the fact that in the past when I was actually interested in someone it was exciting/happy/butterfly feeling. The false arousal is absolutely not. I hope that helps and resonant for you.
@Midwestmother This is exactly what happens to me. Sorry may be a stupid question but what does ‘GI upset’ mean. But yeah I do get a horrible adrenaline rush. When I go out, If I see a lesbian couple or masculine lesbian sometimes I get this and it is so annoying does this happen to you as well?
@lalalalal166373 By that I mean nausea, abdominal pain. I think it mostly happens when I see women with a somewhat masculine appearance or women portrayed in hypersexualized ways.
@Midwestmother That’s interesting! Mostly when I think of this false crush I feel this INTENSE anxiety. I sometimes feel like I’ve convinced myself the crush is real.
I have this exact same thing and I thought I was crazy and I’m getting scared does anyone have any tips? My situation is my brain is trying to convince me I have a crush on people I don’t. It’s very difficult and it makes me so nauseous and anxious. I’ve had a thought that I had a crush on my teacher, my best friend, family, there’s more but a lot of this is so embarrassing and I don’t know how to control it😔 but I know I don’t but it’s like the 1% is making me think otherwise.
Hello! If you still want to chat about it, I'm all ears
@IloveDieguito hi sorry it’s quite a late reply but i just wanted some advice, lately i have been feeling false attraction to everything, masculine women, any women that are over sexualised on social media, overthinking anyone who has literally just brushed past my arm and feeling this anxiety rush as if i liked it is awful but how do i know its false attraction?
Yes and when it happens it sends my head into a spiral but deep down I know I am not sexually attracted to that person it’s just my hocd doing this to me
@Will 2339002 deep down i know the thoughts and feelings aren’t true but when i spiral i don’t even know what’s real or fake, do you get this too?
@lalalalal166373 Exactly that. It’s what is so annoying about the whole thing. I know I’m not gay but my brain still does this to me
When I get this it’s like a severe physical exhaustion and trembling, paired with dread. It does not at all feel like real attraction, but it seems the same in the moment. Then the anxiety and need for avoidance comes, along with rumination. It’s really horrible, but usually fades within a day. Sometimes it leads to other obsessions and compulsions later.
Just feels like normal attraction to me
I have made much progress with this, but it still jumps up and scares me sometimes.
It's especially worse before my period, but i still get this all other weeks. The past few months I've noticed more that i get in waves of not being attracted AT ALL, physically and sexually. Sometimes I'll think my fiance looks cute but then I feel like it quickly goes back to not feeling attracted. I analyze his appearance and face. I check our pictures a lot and sometimes i dont think he looks attractive and other times i think he looks attractive. I compare his personality to others... I keep getting the ick. I feel terrible. I basically have zero libido for sex or masturbating. I'm afraid that he's not the one for me, I feel like I'm getting FOMO. My anxiety gets so high in the morning to where I have break up urges sometimes. At the same time I don't want to lose him and the thought of me not being with him makes me cry.... We're getting married next year and sometimes I feel guilty wearing my ring because im having these thoughts. I feel guilt and question myself every time i think about wedding planning. I question if I love him anymore because of this. I fear I won't find him attractive ever again or in the future. I had a couple days where i had clarity and we talked about our future etc, found him handsome, had intimacy etc, but then like I said it reverts back to the doubting. I keep seeing posts that people who are married 10+ years are still in honeymoon phase, still find eachother massively attractive, have sex all the time. It makes me feel like something is wrong because we're not like that and that I'm supposed to be with someone else in order to feel that. Before we moved in together we had sex 1/2 times a week maybe. Now its like 1/2 a month... And i know part of it is because were familiar with each other/live together etc. But why do i not feel attracted!? My partner is so understanding, sweet and caring even through all of this. Hes so supportive and he's my best friend. I keep asking him for reassurance if he feels loved by me etc and he always says yes. We've been living together for 2 years and been together for 6 total. I keep getting into a depressive state and crying over this over and over and over again. thinking what if we're not supposed to be together, FOMO, if we're compatible, thinking I should just be alone. Its exhausting. And hes always there to hold my hand and comfort me. I got teared up just typing that. Hugging him gives me comfort. I feel like there's a part of me that's suddenly scared to get married, but I want to get married. but it's like suddenly the thought of marriage makes me scared??? But also at the same time i feel like if we were married already i wouldnt be going through this? A few months ago we were looking at houses together, picked out wedding colors, I was traveling for work and was so sad to leave him, and so happy to see him when I got home. I do see a future with him. We talked about kid names in the past. and now I feel like I'm questioning everything in my life for no reason. I HATE feeling this way. I just feel depressed all the time, don't want to do anything, just lay in bed and cry. I hate waking up in the morning. I barely have the motivation at work or just to do my hobbies. I want to be normal again. Anyone been through something similar? Does it get better??? Should I take meds for this?? I'm currently in therapy but I think im going to switch therapists.
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
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