- Date posted
- 49w ago
i really just dont know who i am anymore
POCD has made me lose all my self identity, i dont know who i am anymore. Im really tired, when will this horror end.
POCD has made me lose all my self identity, i dont know who i am anymore. Im really tired, when will this horror end.
pocd is truly hell. ocd can make you go crazy. can mess with your thoughts and can fully make you believe you are an abuser or a monster. it is debilitating and it is nothing but horror. i am not scared of the so called place "hell", because i have been through it with pocd. identity crisis. gradual loss of sanity. i just want you to know, you are not the person who your brain tells you are. you are a human being. i know it feels surreal to imagine a reality where you actually realize that your mind actually lies to you and the truth has nothing to do with what it tells/dictates you, you actually feel a bit relieved. my dear friend, your brain and your thoughts do not define who you are and have never defined. you deserve respect and love just because you are here, a human, child of god, carrying a spark of divine in you. you are so very worthy. i recommend following @obsessively_anxious on instagram, her posts make me feel so seen and validated! i see you and i love you my dear friend, and i know the pain, the horror and the terror that your thoughts create in your mind, but i just want you to know that it lies to you and it does not align with the truth.
@queend This genuinely brought tears to my eyes, i needed this. Thank you so much, you are a kind soul. 🥹❤️
I’m going through the same thing. I’m exhausted. But it really has helped me to realise that we need to accept the feelings and float on through. I may have already mentioned but if you’re really struggling try ALI GREYMOND on YouTube. She’s phenomenal and made such a MASSIVE difference in my life. I still struggle a lot with POCD, but I can now leave the house and have a better understanding of myself ☺️ we are all here for you. You can do this xx
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
I had same Sex fantasies, sought that out in 🌽 before I knew what sexuality was, it’s related to a specific fetish and I used to talk to strangers online including men and I’m scared now what all of this means, I have HOCD, POCD, all sorts of thoughts but I don’t know if it’s my thoughts or my past which is reality. Why did I have those thoughts as a young boy? Why why why? Who am I? Do I even have OCD? What monster am I? I just want to end it all sometimes in all honesty. Not really but sure feels like it. I’m dying inside .
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
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