I was thinking about random stuff and then started thinking about what it would be like to raise a baby. After thinking that I had a random wave of arousal? I know it wasnβt from thinking of babies but Iβm still worried it was. How do you know if it was or not? I wasnβt even thinking of babies specifically just what it would be like having one. It was random arousal and scared me.
For the purposes of exposure and response, not getting an answer to your question will be the overall benefit that will decrease your OCD symptoms. Do not seek reassuranceβthis fuels OCD. Practice focusing on that thought or look at pictures of babies until your anxiety decreases and continue to do that every day until your overall symptoms decrease and theyβll eventually subside (if they come back then continue practicing the exposure) While doing these do not check for arousal or a groinal response (that would be a compulsion) let the anxiety and responses come as they are and pass. This practice will help you and your brain realize that wild thoughts and bodily responses happen and are a part of being humanβ this realization will detach those thoughts from anxiety.
Hey ππ» there! This is common with POCD, also arousal can happen unwillingly, you have to remember the human body experiences changes of mood and energy throughout the day, even during sleep! Itβs not true arousal because that would be intentional, or induced. And given that the thought scared you and gave you no pleasure. Itβs hard to explain but the body is organic and it does what it does naturally sometimes.
I donβt know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I donβt think I actually want to enjoy that.* Itβs scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I donβt know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. Iβm scared that I actually like these thoughts when Iβm really aroused :( Please help.
Why are things so real the first time theyβre in my mind and then when I think about it later itβs easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back Iβm like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldnβt help but think that in their real life theyβve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back itβs just ugh. Idk if itβs sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I donβt want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldnβt type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but Iβm still scared
ππππ£πͺ ππππππππ₯ πππππππ βππΌπΈππΌ π»πβ'π βπΌπΈπ» ππ½ πΌπΈππππ π»ππππβπΉπΌπ» πΉπ πβπΌππΌπ πππβ πππ»π hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. ππππ I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scaredππππ
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