I made a post earlier today about what’s been going through my head in my relationship rn and how confused I’ve been. And I had multiple people comment and tell me that maybe I don’t love my partner the way I thought I did or maybe my intuition was telling me to leave and find someone else. And I’m so freaking stressed now because idk what to do. I can’t take it anymore. I’m at the end of my rope
You helped me earlier indirectly, so I'll do my best to help you now. Have you done erp before? Humour the questions if you can as context helps
@Wolfram No I haven’t. I’m currently in therapy but my therapist hasn’t been using erp, more just reframing my inner dialogue.
@Anonymous_confessions Ok, so that one comment earlier this I'm going off.. They mentioned rocd doesn't effect them anymore. They may have done erp. There's a slight issue I've seen on the app and I've been guilty of it too and that's basically telling others what's worked for them with zero background or very little context as to why they say it. The wrong help is sometimes worse than no help 😞 So there is a erp thing that's quite common with intrusive thoughts and feelings and that's the whole accepting uncertainty "maybe, maybe not approach". Its difficult at first but once you get an understanding and practice it, it gets easier. Without the education of erp and why it works, the suggestions can be counter productive and damaging. I'd look up videos on how erp works, dealing with intrusive thoughts, especially with your themes. I'd also bring this up with your therapist, even if you weren't to use it, they may help educate you on it. I can try find vids and resources that can help if you want
@Wolfram If you’re mentioning thar one comment on my post I think that one was someone quoting something I had said in my post cuz I am scared because the negative and critical thoughts are still present but I haven’t been experiencing many anxious spikes with the thoughts recently so I was worried. But all that aside I do think it would be wise to try these erp tactics. I have seen some videos online about erp, and I can probably try to find more about them. I’m just very worried that they won’t work and it’ll just make me want to leave even more
@Anonymous_confessions Optimism lies in the unknown. People are scared of trying new things (talking about erp), because of the possibility of failure. Better the devil you know? Risk getting better or continue guaranteeing being prisoner in the cell fear created for you. Lots of people mistakenly make their comfort zone a safe room. It shouldn't be there to protect you, it should only be there to offer comfort. How erp feels in a nutshell
@Wolfram Thank you that’s really encouraging to hear. That’s good advice to follow. I need to be able to step into the unknown and allow myself to grow and improve
@Anonymous_confessions Go at the pace that suits you, and move forward with with the guidance of your therapist. I leaped, skipped and jumped into erp headfirst and definitely didn't have an understanding at first. It hurt quite a bit but I wanted to get better. If it gets a bit much, you can always go back to baby steps with it.
@Wolfram Thanks for the encouragement and helpful tips. After a lot of negative comments today I’m glad to talk to someone who can be helpful and encouraging 😊
@Anonymous_confessions No worries. I have those days too. Go do something positive for yourself. You'll thank yourself for it
I’ve definitely been where you are and it is terrifying. I agree with @wolfram. Lean into the erp techniques of “maybe I do xyx, maybe I don’t. “ Repeat it over and over again until it no longer has power over you.
I lost a perfect relationship because of these shitty thoughts! I have been taking pills for almost 10 years because of these shitty thoughts! There is no perfect person! You're gonna have these thoughts about EVERYONE! You love your partner! You really do! I promise you! If this relationship wasn't so important for you, you wouldn't have had these thoughts so far! I don't wanna give you reassurance because it's a compulsion but I want you to know that you don't have to give your ROCD what it needs! Please educate yourself about this and don't give in to these thoughts.
OK, so that one comment earlier is what I'm going off*
Pls I beg you help me. It’s been two or threee days that I’m feeling proper proper stressed. Not just the average and usual doubt, these days it has felt proper proper real and it makes me feel sick, I can’t eat, I want to throw up, it’s taking over my whole body. I started feeling better about the doubts “is it love or attachment” and then another hit “maybe I’m with him just for the relationship and I don’t care about him I only care about the relationship”. I’ve made so much reassurance seeking with ChatGPT and some of the things were positive and others not and I felt even worse. Just because I don’t often think consciously about his happiness and I’m with him because I feel so cared for, supported, safe, my inner child comes out and spending time with him is my favorite thing even after a year of long distance. Help me I want to die because of how painful it is
I'm stuck in a 'do you really like your boyf' mentality again and its making me so sad. I'm in love with him and its magical and I was on cloud 9 last week and intrusive thinking has taken over and making me doubt.
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
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