false feelings

When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?

I can’t except that it was ocd this time because I WANTED to think this disgusting thought I didn’t have to but I let myself think it and I was not testing or checking because I know at that time I wanted it any time I feel a bit better it just feels wrong of course I hate the thought and don’t agree with it at all but at the time I wanted to have it I literally remember thinking at first “ no dont think that!” But still wanting to think it and then afterwards making an excuse in my head to think it because I wanted to and I feel so disgusted and scared of myself

Answer please. Does anyone else with intrusive thoughts feel like your addicted to them. Like I can't help but feel like I need to have these intrusive thoughts. Ik it sounds weird but I feel it's true. Like I keep getting blasphemous thoughts and I feel like I need to have them. I know I do not but I can't help but feel like I do. Can OCD do this to you?