Unnecessary sorrow

I’m extremely sad right now. I’m going through some life altering events and I’m really scared, heartbroken, and angry. I don’t use social media so I’m putting it here. I hope that’s ok. I can’t really talk to my usual people about all of it because they’re going through some of the same stuff and I don’t want to overwhelm them by piling on with the other stuff I’m experiencing too. My mom is 51 years old and she has stage 4 cervical cancer. It has progressed significantly over the past few months. I’m really really scared. I’m scared to face the reality of it and I’m scared for my dad if she doesn’t make it. He loves her more than anything in this world. She’s everything to him. She’s been the most supportive person in my life. I’m not ready to lose my momma. I’m losing my marriage. My high school sweetheart. Time, life stress, our traumas, selfishness, etc. have pulled us so far apart that I don’t think it can be repaired. My heart aches and I just wish I could love her and make her love me like we used to. When no one believed we would make it. But we knew we could do it anyway. I hurt so badly. I just want to feel hope again in my life. I want to go to sleep for a million years, and then wake up and have love and time and all my beautiful things again. I’m so sorry for everything.

I want to share some thoughts that might resonate with those of you grappling with intrusive thoughts or lingering regrets from the past. First and foremost, it's essential to remember that our thoughts are not definitive representations of who we are. They often stem from random electrical impulses in our brains and can feel overwhelming at times. It’s important to acknowledge that these thoughts do not define us. Instead, they are just passing moments that we can observe without judgment. Secondly, it’s crucial to realize that past events would have unfolded regardless of our actions. We often believe we are the main cause of certain outcomes, but many events occur independently of our choices. Think of your life as a storybook; while you can read and reflect on the pages, you did not write the narrative that led to those moments. This perspective can help alleviate feelings of guilt and self-blame. Lastly, let’s remember that we are all human, and making mistakes is part of the experience. It’s vital to forgive ourselves for past errors and recognize that these experiences contribute to our growth. The mere act of reflecting on our mistakes shows that we have learned and evolved. To foster healing and personal growth, consider incorporating some positive habits into your daily routine: Get Outside: Aim for daily walks in the sunlight. Nature has a remarkable way of uplifting our spirits. Pursue Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help redirect your focus and energy. Volunteer: Offering guidance to others who may be facing similar challenges can be incredibly rewarding. It not only helps them but also reinforces your own lessons learned. By taking these steps, you can create a meaningful path toward moral repentance and personal development, freeing yourself from the burdens of the past. Remember, healing is a journey, and every small step counts. Embrace it with kindness and patience towards yourself. Have a great day all 😊

I feel like opening up about something. I would wake up everyday not knowing what to do in life. I have no motivation to talk with friends, or I would isolate myself from family, because I don’t want to be awkward around anybody and I just don’t think I’m that interesting to be around. I would be mean to myself in anyway possible. I once went to the comfort of my childhood and I would roleplay as characters of my childhood. But now I feel myself growing up and becoming an adult, and I’ve been experiencing grief of no longer being in my childhood. Having freestyle fun with my friends and family was the best I’ve ever felt. But now it’s all gone now. Now I’m stuck with feeling not open minded to anything and thinking that no one cares about me, I won’t have fun or be happy anymore, and I’m a nobody. I would even have scary thoughts about “Doing it” but I’m never planning to. I just feel like there is nothing to do anymore and I shouldn’t look back on the great childhood I had.