Lowest point

I don’t even know where to start. Everyday for the past few months has been horrible. Everyday I wake up with no motivation, nothing makes me happy anymore. I’m in my second year of college and it hasn’t been easy. Just as last year, I struggled with Agoraphobia but honestly it has gotten worse since last year. Although my schools only 40 minutes away it feels so dreadful going there. I experience bad panic attacks and can never just be happy or calm. It makes me sad since last year was so much better. Idk what changed. I don’t have any friends and that’s mainly my fault for pushing people away and not being able to be comfortable around new people because of my anxiety and because I struggle to even be out of the house without my safe person which is my bf. I can barley do things on my own and I feel like it’s definitely declined since last year although I never really did much. I was diagnosed with a vitamin d deficiency about 6 months ago which I still have not done anything to treat it because I got scared of taking a dosage the doctor gave me and had a panic attack after just because I have a hard time with taking capsules. I did buy a liquid form of the vitamin d however I’ve been too afraid to use it because I’m scared something will happen to me like side effects or idk. It’s kinda just my anxiety brain being scared of it all. I also deal with anxiety thoughts around food and getting food poisoning and people tampering with my food which has caused me to avoid so many foods and honestly just make me feel so scared and horrible. Everyday I feel so weak and so unmotivated I’m tired of it all. I don’t know what I want to do in college, I put my 2 weeks in at my job because I was so tired of working in a daycare and how mentally draining it was, I just want to be happy again and have motivation and to stop living in fear but I can’t. Everyday feels like a task or challenge and everyday feels like there’s something wrong with me I just am at a lost for both my physical and mental health, everyone around me is tired of it but imagine living in it. I just want to be happy and not anxious anymore.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

I am sorry you are experiencing this. I have a similar experience, I am in my final year of college, and my OCD has made it extremely hard for me to show up. I have no social life and only really have my boyfriend as a friend. My best advice to you is to show up but accept help if needed. Avoidance will make the anxiety much worse. Show up to college, work, hangouts, etc, no matter what your anxiety tells you. But be nice to yourself while showing up for yourself. With the help of ERP, my anxiety has gotten easier to deal with but at days there really feels no end to it. Hold on to hope, things will get better <3!

JFL

Date posted: 21h

Hello. I just got done reading your message. I am sorry that you are going through such struggle. I am also in the process of healing from my ocd based symptoms. I had to check myself into a mental health hospital last summer for ocd anxiety based symptoms that just wouldn't go away. I also was in partial hospitalization and IOP. They were both helpful but I still struggled. I am currently involved with tms therapy. I feel like I am getting better now. What made the difference was the treatment process and exposure therapy. Exposure therapy was and is the main struggle but I am finally getting better at it which is contributing to my healing. I think avoidance feeds the OCD monster and hurts mental health.

JFL

Date posted: 7h

I really appreciate you. Same goes for you. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing.

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