I’m not sure but I’m questioning if I have ROCD?

Im already diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. I’m wondering if I have any other undiagnosed issues? I need help understanding whether what I’m experiencing could be relationship focused OCD, because I’ve realized this isn’t just normal relationship insecurity for me. When I become attached to a man, especially when I really care about him, I become terrified that he’s going to leave me or stop loving me, and the fear can become completely consuming. It feels like my own thoughts become these dark phantoms surrounding me and telling me every possible thing I’m afraid of: “He’s tired of you. You’re too much. You’re pushing him away. You’re a burden. He’s talking to other women. He doesn’t actually love you. He’s going to leave. He’s gonna start hating you. No man will ever choose you or love you when you’re like this.” The thoughts can feel incredibly real when they’re happening, even though another part of me knows I don’t actually have evidence for them. The biggest problem is that I cannot tolerate not knowing. If something feels even slightly different, a text is shorter, he doesn’t respond when I expect him to, a call ends differently, I don’t know what he’s doing, my brain immediately interprets the uncertainty as evidence that something is wrong. Then I feel an overwhelming need to figure out what happened. I ask for reassurance, call, text, analyze wording, analyze behavior, and try to figure out whether he’s pulling away. The worst part is that reassurance doesn’t actually solve it. He can tell me “nothing’s wrong” and I’ll feel relieved for a moment, but then my brain immediately creates another loophole: “What if he’s lying? What if nothing was wrong then but something is wrong now because I mentioned that I feel that something is wrong? What if he’s secretly annoyed that I need reassurance? What if I pushed him away by asking? What if he’s tired of me and second guessing about me? And then I’m right back in the cycle and still stuck in it. I’m currently in a talking stage with a man who has actually been treating me well, and that has made me realize something really important: even when a man gives me reasons to feel safe, the fear doesn’t necessarily disappear. It still amplifies. My brain just finds another uncertainty. I’m starting to realize that this isn’t something another person can simply reassure out of me. I’ve had painful relationship experiences before, including a relationship that lasted about a year and a half and ended very suddenly, and then another relationship that was on and off for about six months where there was cheating, manipulation, narcissism, abandonment, etc. I think those experiences may have made abandonment feel catastrophic to me, but I don’t want to keep living this way. I don’t want to constantly monitor a man I love, seek reassurance, worry that I’m pushing him away, and then become terrified that my anxiety itself will cause him to leave. I want to learn how to have a healthy relationship without needing constant certainty that I’m safe. I’m wondering whether this could be OCD, possibly relationship focused OCD, or another anxiety/attachment related issue. I don’t want to diagnose myself, but I’m just wondering. I also want an actual professional evaluation at some point and help learning what to do when the thoughts start, because knowing intellectually that I’m spiraling doesn’t make me able to stop it. I want to learn how to tolerate uncertainty without constantly checking, seeking reassurance, analyzing everything, or feeling like everything is ruined. I don’t just want reassurance that my relationship is okay. I also want treatment for whatever is making me feel like I need constant reassurance in order to feel okay in the first place. And I’ve realized that this isn’t just about one particular guy. The guy I’m talking to may be the person currently triggering it because I deeply care for him and the thought of him leaving is world ending to me, but I’m seeing that even when a man is good to me and gives me reasons to feel safe, the fear can still show up. I don’t want the man I care about to leave me because I’m struggling with this so heavily. I also don’t want to believe that I’m incapable of having a healthy relationship. I want to get professional help for the part of me that is terrified of losing someone, because I genuinely want to learn how to love a man without constantly being terrified that he’s going to leave, to the point where every single uncertainty feels like proof that he’s already leaving and then I’m spiraling and freaking out so bad that it’s unbearable. If anyone here has actually been diagnosed with OCD/ROCD, does this pattern sound familiar to your experience, and what was it like getting evaluated and treated? Is there a cure? Medication even?