Spiraling about online content

Idk if some intimate content I watched online included someone that was too young. I didn’t like get off to the video I skimmed through it because I didn’t know if the person just looked young. But I came to the conclusion that even if they were an adult they look too young for me so I skipped the video. Anyways the next day I started worrying about it again so I went and found the video after tracing back my steps and skimmed through it but I still can’t tell. I stopped checking but everytime I think about this my heart drops and I feel like I committed a crime. I feel like I should’ve just stuck to my gut when I kept skipping the video everytime it popped up. I think I went too far this time

Lelaa

Date posted: Yesterday

Its classic OCD, you had the urge to look through the video again to check cause you had to be certain, you are a good person i might not know you but bad people dont worry about things like that, i am someone who mostly overcame my POCD and i had it for 2 years non-stop so i know how it feels, you dont need to confess to people about things like this it happens to everyone with ocd we understand dont worry❤️

CristyS323

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lelaa I just hate that I did the compulsion while I was trying to have intimate time alone. Like checking through the video to make sure it was not my biggest fear. But turns out it might be my biggest fear but I will never know. I’ve had my ocd for like 5 years and it always gets better then really bad all of a sudden :(

Lelaa

Date posted: Yesterday

@CristyS323 I get it it happend to me a lot of times, the more you think about it you will just dig a bigger hole when it wasnt even anything bad you did, go do something that you like, watch a movie or take a walk, give yourself some grace❤️

CristyS323

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lelaa I still feel so bad :( everytime i think about it my heart drops. But when i explain to myself step by step out loud what happened or explain it to other ppl they say it’s not bad. Idk why i feel so bad. Thanks for ur help :( i hate ocd

Lelaa

Date posted: Yesterday

@CristyS323 I get it and its fine to feel that way, we all do, also it is easier said then to be done so i get you but i believe you wikl be okay❤️

It gets bett...

Date posted: Yesterday

I’d stop watching p*rn it’s terrible for your psyche and will not help your ocd in any way.

CristyS323

Date posted: 20h

@It gets better <3 I usually never do. But then when I get depressed I fall into the habit it’s weird. I’m going to stop

It gets bett...

Date posted: 18h

@CristyS323 I get it. Everyone has something lol that’s just the best advice I could give you. I also have pocd, I cannot watch any p*rn or this happens to me and just destroys me. You’re not alone. I’ve had this theme for 7 years, it gets better like you said to the point where it’s practically non existent and then just gets super bad again. I’m in the longest spike I’ve ever been in primarily due to stress, I don’t have a job and can’t get one no matter how hard I try and trust me I want a job it’s the only time I’m not spiraling is when I feel like I have a purpose. So anyways you’re not alone but I’d def do you best not to watch it, even for people without OCD it is genuinely just so bad for our brains and it’s been studied and proven countless times.

CristyS323

Date posted: 8h

@It gets better <3 Yeah, I don’t know. I noticed my POCD attacks me more when I watch that type of content, even though I watch regular intimate content. I don’t go out of my way to find any weird stuff. The most kink I’ve even developed was from trauma, but it’s common knk that develops from trauma. So like watching regular stuff isn’t even regular for me because pocd latched onto it. And it’s weird bc I have a regular/slightly hoeish sex life like I enjoy sex with people my age and have regular encounters but then in my alone time my mind is tormenting me. I don’t have a job either, I just recently became unemployed and I realize not having something to do makes this worse lol And yeah it is bad for our brains it’s terrible :( I hate that I watch it I feel gross afterwards everytime. Thx for ur support tho I appreciate it

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