hocd coming back

hello, I feel like my OCD is coming back, I had these thoughts last year from April until October-November, I felt a pressure in my chest and these thoughts and I'm very scared, it feels much stronger than last time, I'm not diagnosed but it's ruining my life.I don't know what to do, I'm really panicked and I've seen videos that triggered me really badly. I am not diagnosed. I thought all the thoughts were gone because I had them very, very rarely and they didn't bother me :(

Sexual Orientation OCD

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

Ok, so your aim shouldn't be to prove you're not homosexual, that will backfire, not because you are but because OCD will win if you play that game. HOCD was one of my earliest OCD themes and while I know like anything it could come back I think it's unlikely, mostly because I just don't care enough these days for it to be relevant. OCD tends to be strongest where it's something very important to you. The good and bad thing about HOCD is that the exposures are easy to create/find. Some good exposures could be something like deliberately noticing a man is good looking, maybe leaning in to what about him is (I realise this likely sounds terrifying). Maybe even just writing down "I might be homosexual" a bunch of times or a loop tape of the same. The aim is something challenging but not so hard you'll completely spiral. Personally, I'd work up to say watching films that have very attractive men in (anything Liam/Chris Hemsworth probably?!)... Then maybe later something like Magic Mike. Possibly walking along the street, deliberately looking at guys, noticing muscles or even groinal area. I can tell you that all of this might sound impossible but it isn't. What you're teaching your brain is it doesn't need to set off the alarm. As a previous HOCD sufferer I remember the threat, the fear, wondering if I wanted to kiss my friends, noticing guys everywhere, not feeling attracted to women. It was scary but I can tell you that now, I could go to a gay bar full of strippers who all were the most beautiful men on the planet and cope with it. You can get there too.

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 15h

yes, I went through this for a few months until it started to go away, but the pressure in my chest and the sadness led my brain to think that I was gay and I didn't accept it and now I'm scared, I've had this thought for about 3 or 4 hours and I can't get rid of it.

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

@youllwinthebattle I know it's easy to say but stop trying to get rid of it "yep, maybe I'm gay, yep, he does look good, maybe I do want to be with him" is the right line

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 15h

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know.

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 15h

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 15h

@youllwinthebattle - Happy to share! One thing worth naming first: checking whether the thoughts are still there — scanning your body for that chest pressure, testing how you feel, trying to confirm the thoughts have gone — is itself a compulsion, and it's often what makes a theme feel like it came back stronger. The pressure in your chest is anxiety doing what anxiety does, and OCD treats that sensation as evidence, which is why it feels so convincing right now. "My symptoms come and go—is it still OCD?" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/my-symptoms-come-and-go-is-it-still-ocd Written by NOCD therapist Stacy Quick, LPC, this speaks directly to what you described — believing the thoughts were gone because you were having them so rarely, and then having them return with more intensity. "Is it OCD, or am I in denial about my sexuality? Understanding sexual orientation OCD (SO-OCD)" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-so-ocd-hocd-just-denial-sexual-orientation-ocd Goes straight at the "what if I just didn't accept it" fear you raised, and explains why chasing certainty is what keeps the loop running rather than ending it. Since you've mentioned twice that you aren't diagnosed — would it be helpful to talk to someone who specializes in exactly this? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!

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