Is anyone's pocd so severe thst being around children of sny age gives you groinal response. Not only that but extremely sexual intrusive thoughts and phrases that are foul. Like there's no way this is just ocd.
You would think, and as someone who has been in your shoes, without providing heavy reassurance, please try to get into ERP therapy asap. Not because you're bad but because this is treatable OCD.
I am in ERP and I dont feel like its helped, if anything its got worse.
@ran_0fff Can you mention this to your therapist? I would even shoot them a message explaining how and why it isn't helping so that they have a good picture of what's going on and can adjust ur treatment
@ran_0fff - Erp should be hard and get you anxious! It’s gonna help!
@moi123 I feel bad because I could just smile and say hi to a kid and immediately thoughts come in and I anticipate it
@ran_0fff - It’s Ocd. :)
@ran_0fff - Sometimes I thought something before i get a intrusive thought so my Ocd get confused and I don’t get scared. How crazy is that? :D it’s just thoughts.
@moi123 It just doesn't feel like it
@ran_0fff I'm dealing with this too buddy it's hard
It's about my 2 year old son and it scares the living crap out of me every second of every day I'm trying to understand it better but Ive only just started therapy and we don't start erp til my next appointment
I’m so sorry you are going through this! Thoughts doesn’t mean anything. But i know how hard it is to understand it. I bet you are great father and please spend as much time with your son as you can. That is good erp for now. :) I don’t know what kind of intrusive thoughts you have and i didn’t mean you should think those on purpose. I just want to point that you should not feel guilty even though you know those are coming.
Ik it's so hard especially false urges and all of.it feels so real and more intense than any real feeling or thought I've ever had.
@ran_0fff Yes and does it make you think you actually might like doing it? I'll get those thoughts then I get reallyyyy disgusted. I've been vomiting the last 4 days with stress from this
@ran_0fff - I’ll promise you it’s get better! Avoiding your son teach your brains that there is some danger even though there is no danger!
@Anonymous Yes and that I want to do it. I get thoughts that play out like real thoughts and everything. Its even worse when u get used to it sometimes and feel like u barely feel as guilty as u used to.
@ran_0fff - If you can ignore your intrusive thoughts that is only a big win against Ocd!
@ran_0fff This has to got to be something we can beat if we have the same symptoms this is clearly just a problem we have created within our own minds. And it must be treatable as they say we got to push through this!
@moi123 Thank you!
@Anonymous Im just so worried I really am andn actually predator. And ppl say well if u dont want to then ur obviously not. But it doesn't feel that way because no normal persons has these thoughts and not only that sometimes it actually feels like I like it and the groinals usually feel stronger than real arousal
@ran_0fff I've talked to people in my life and regular people do have these thoughts they just process them differently than our minds do. Our minds go way too far into it all it's very scary horrifying. I personally don't know if it will get better I'm still throwing up every morning with anxiety because as soon as I wake up it's in my head like a broken record I'm not doing so well myself but It is relieving to know I'm not the only one
I just wanted to say, that sounds terrifying, and dealing with OCD is one thing, but you're superman for dealing with it and having a kid. You will get through this.
I also have this type of ocd. It started off as hocd, then violent/harm ocd got added to the mix. A few years later I suddenly thought “what if I’m a pedo” and my mind went all the way down that rabbit hole. Eventually I got successfully treated and regained my life. I had 10 plus years of freedom from these thoughts devouring my mind. Then a few months ago the pocd theme started back up and has been really distressing. Endless loops of trying to logic it out in my brain in a search for certainty. I’m currently engaging in therapy again to try and get a handle on it. Sometimes it feels so real, like how do I know for sure I’m not sexually attracted to this underage girl? She’s objectively pretty so how do I know I don’t have “desires” for her? It just ends up being a merry go round of what ifs and how I know for sure? It’s all incredibly distressing and upsetting. Some days are better than others but I do have confidence that I can get on top of it all again.
Mine started as relationship ocd about my family and also turned into harm and then turned into pocd.
Anything that crazy can't be real. Trust yourself and busy your mind away from those thoughts.
But there are people that genuinely think those things and its true a out them.
@ran_0fff I'm guessing criminals who actually do these things have more going on. I'm definitely naive, but if you realize you don't want to think that way, you must know the action goes against your morals.
@kroo A lot of the time it feels like I purposefully think these thoughts and then I start wondering if I really dislike them. Its so confusing and I never thought this would be my life.
@ran_0fff I guess that's the nature of OCD. Whenever I start thinking that maybe I do really like the thing I'm worried about, I need to busy my mind. Also I'm guessing that if you haven't always had these thoughts, it must be intrusive because it doesn't make sense to suddenly become a bad person. It sucks to not be normal but hopefully we'll all be better for it
@kroo yes but I've been struggling with them for 4 years now all day everyday. Like constantly. Even when im not around any triggers.
@ran_0fff I'm sorry that it's been so long, I know that sometimes I wonder if I've lost my true self when I think about the time. Have you tried therapy techniques? I just need to remember that distress means it's against what you want even if you might wonder that these thoughts are just who you are now.
@kroo But sometimes i dont even feel distressed or at least I used to feel immensely worse. And im in therapy I just struggle to do exposures.
@ran_0fff I don't really know how therapy works for this, but please tell your therapist. It's easier said than done but don't settle for the person that your mind is tricking you to be
@kroo I have told my therapist
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