Jealousy

Alright so basically i have major attachment and jealousy issues to the point where i don’t really have any friends because of how clingy i am. i currently have a boyfriend and im trying to be better at it by not asking him to always be with me and give him space when he needs it and not complain about it all the time when he hangs out with friends. I get even very jealous of his dogs and family, obviously ive not told him that but i really am. Today me and my boyfriend were hanging out together on a game when his sister joined, i tried to not say anything but then i got that really bad gut feeling that i was gonna cry about it and i felt so bad if i asked to play something else. So i told him calmly that if he wanted to play a game or hang out with her thats okay and he told me he wanted to be with the both of us so i just told him that i dont do well in groups, even with my own sisters im terrible at groups i get all weird and clingy. So then he got a bit upset because he thought i was upset about her so i told him that i wasnt and that its completely okay and that its his sister and i understand that. Now he’s currently frustrated at me while im silently upset. I dont know what to do i know what i feel is wrong but i cant help it. Ive talked to him about my issues alot with the clinginess and he said he doesn’t mind but then there was a time he told me to back off being clingy so i did and then he wanted back and its so frustrating and confusing i dont know what to do.

Relationship OCD

Froggy🪷

Date posted: 2d

Hey, I wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way. I can strongly relate to what you’re going through. Within a week of dating my bf, I made him stop talking to his sister (who lived in another state) because of jealousy and I didn’t like the amount of attention he was giving her. At times I regret making him do this and others times I’m happy that she is out of his life. His sister’s girlfriend was a pos who would break his belongings, make fun of him often, bring up his past, and tell me his secrets in attempt to make me not like him. I truly would’ve given his sister a chance if her girlfriend wasn’t in the picture. However, I don’t recommend you do this as it led to more issues with the rest of his family. My situation goes to show how bad this jealousy mindset can get if you avoid getting help. My mind will tell me things such as “if he doesn’t pick you over her, he doesn’t truly love you” and maybe you can also relate to this. What we have to accept is that many people will put their family first… as much as we hate to hear it. I read something online that sisters can be very possessive over their brothers, which makes it even more difficult to manage what we experience. Due to my situation, I don’t feel as though I can give the best advice… I mainly just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. If you’re able to, I do recommend you talk to a therapist or trusted adult (preferably a licensed professional of some sort though) about it. Unfortunately, it isn’t as simple as just “communicating it with him” and I understand that. Some men don’t always understand emotional jealousy, especially to the extent that we experience.

mental Warrior

Date posted: 24w

I just need to talk about intense jealousy

Okay so, this is gonna be very detailed because it's a lot. I have a friend that going to be in China for an exchange program and that's obviously amazing! But...I got super jealous because my biggest dream is to live in an Asian country but as I always do when I feel jealousy instead of letting it consume me I tell the person I'm jealous of so that I can ensure it doesn't feel odd carrying around jealousy that they know nothing about if that makes sense. And so I tell him and he brushes it off, but the jealousy stays with me. I've also been having some harm OCD thoughts beforehand so the two thoughts merged and I thought of horrendous thoughts it's so scary cause these thoughts are not just intrusive, they have a meaning attached to them😭. Back in the day I'd get jealous and it would be just that...no harmful thoughts towards the other person but just because I've been in an OCD rut I have actually been unable to feel negative emotions anymore without them having to be tainted with harmful thoughts towards others or myself honestly like wth😭! I hate this! What do y'all do with intense jealousy??

mri12

Date posted: 18w

how can I fix this thought?

For some reason, my brain gets upset when my boyfriend hangs out with other people. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but sometimes I can’t help it. I understand that he has a life outside of our relationship, and that’s great. He reassures me all the time, in fact, he often tells me he would rather spend time with me than with his friends. He’s a perfect partner, and I love him more than anything. However, I don’t want this to become an issue in our relationship. I know why my mind thinks this way, even though I don’t believe it to be true. My brain keeps telling me that he would rather be somewhere else than with me. Those words repeat in my head every time he’s out with friends, and I don’t know why. I want to find a solution to this obsessive and jealous thought so that I don’t ruin his time with friends. I really need help with this issue.❤️

Anonymous532

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w

retroactive jealousy OCD

I stated dating my boyfriend about 3 months ago. This is my first boyfriend ever. He’s been in 2 serious relationships in the past and multiple sexual partners. I’ve had neither. When we first started dating/ at one point were just friends, he told me a lot about the last girl he was in a relationship including their sex life. Fast forward to us dating for about a month and I found out he had been texting her. We almost broke up. But also for context she broke up with him because she figured out she was a lesbian. But still… anyways we moved past it. And now… I’m sure we can all see this coming… I have this theme! I think about his ex gf all the time. I stalk her on social media and try to find hints and clues about their relationship. I compare myself to her. It really impacts my relationship because I’ll get mad at him for no reason. For example we went thrifting recently and he picked out stuff that completely wasn’t my style, but was hers. Which made me spiral. Is he purposely dressing me like her? Does he want me to be someone else, someone like her? The whole texting her thing was put in the past. I’ve forgiven him. But I can’t help but have resentment towards him and think/ visualize all these thoughts about them together and how I’ll never measure up to that. It makes me think I shouldn’t have got into a relationship. That maybe I’m better off by myself. But like all of us. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could believe he liked me for me. But sometimes it’s really hard.

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Jealousy

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