I’m over thinking about my bf again and I don’t even want to talk to him rn. I’m like scared I’m honestly doubting my thoughts and feelings rn. Like people always say they are “what if” thoughts. Like me people may assume I’m thinking “what if I don’t love him anymore” but reality mine rn are “I DONT love him.” Is that the same thing ? I want to cry rn. Like I know I’m being dramatic idk.
My main worry is that I’m just staying with him when he is constantly being sweet and stuff but I’m just scared I’m going ti live a very unhappy life if I stay. And the thing is I’m not unhappy it’s just I’m unhappy bc I feel like I don’t love him. I can’t live happy if I don’t love him.
Girl, you are not being dramatic. OCD thoughts don’t have to start with “what if”. Relationship OCD is hard to talk to a partner about because we don’t want to hurt them if they don’t fully understand. Tell your OCD thoughts they are not real, journal, list all the things you love about your boyfriend, and reevaluate when the thoughts aren’t clouding your mind.
@libby He knows everything. I’ve made other posts incase you want to read them. This started a few months ago and I e been getting better but today I just think they are bad and idk. It’s just, my main this the gut feelings. The gut feeling won’t go away. It’s always with me. It has been since may..
@Madz!;) But yeah he does, me and him are very good about communicating. So when this STARTED I told him everything and he is still with me I’m so lucky it’s just I can’t continue like this with the constant feeling in my gut
Understand* hahah
@Madz!;) I’m honestly just started my OCD journey. I was just diagnosed last month and my therapist is helping me assess where i’m at.. so I don’t feel “right” to give you advice on steps. I think you are on the same track as me… researching, journaling, posting, and trying to understand. It comes in waves and i’m sorry you had a bad day… i’ve been struggling too. But with OCD can come an OCD community. Just know that tomorrow is another day and each day you are growing to understand yourself and your thoughts better.
Wow I have literally the same problem…I’m not sure what we do about it but it’s comforting knowing I’m not alone. My partner is amazing but I feel this same way!! And I don’t want to
That’s amazing that he’s able to listen and understand with you. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Is the main thought just: “I don’t love him” or are there other thoughts around the relationship itself?
@libby Well it started with that thought and then it changed to more to why I don’t . Like I would think about how attracted I am, pay attention to how he acts in public and mainly how people look at us in public. Like he is too “ugly” to be seen with me. And the fact I always think that scares me because if I truly think all those things like.. and then I think about my future that I’m going to live miserably because I don’t feel anything anymore
@Madz!;) It like hurts to reread what I saidz like I hate the fact I just called him those things like it’s bad rn. Like I’m crying a bit.
I’m really sorry this is hurting you girl. I know how these thoughts feel.. but it doesn’t make them true. It doesn’t say anything about you as a person.. I can tell you are an amazing girlfriend. OCD latches onto things that are most important to us… and it sounds like that’s your boyfriend. It’s so distressing because you care so much. Acknowledging it’s OCD-like thoughts and processing them is a great step though. It sounds like now is the time for groundwork so that the thoughts don’t get too loud
@libby What do you recommend I do. I got the Relationship ocd book and it helped a bit and I tired doing at home erp. I can’t afford therapy bc they don’t accept my insurance. I feel better some days but today was just bad and stuff. If it helps when I’m with or talk to my bf in general they aren’t as loud but idk.
@libby But also thank you for talking with me. I really am grateful. It’s just hard because I’ve been on my own through this. Yeah I have my bf and I really love and appreciate him being with me but he doesn’t have ocd so he doesn’t underpants d
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
I feel so lost. My boyfriend tries so hard to help me, but nothing seems to work. Every time he reassures me, my mind finds another doubt. He asks me, “So you’ve been questioning if you love me for almost 2 years?” and instead of feeling comforted, my mind jumps to “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him.” I keep telling him every thought that comes to my mind, hoping for relief, but it never lasts. I feel anxious, disconnected, and stuck in this endless cycle. He tells me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t care so much about these thoughts. But still, my brain won’t stop questioning everything. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Why does it feel like I’m forcing something? Why do I feel like I can’t just know how I feel? I want to feel okay. I want to be present with him without analyzing every moment. But no matter what I do, my mind keeps telling me “What if you don’t love him?” I feel like I’m stuck between wanting clarity and being terrified of what that clarity might mean. It feels so real, and I hate it. I don’t know what to do.
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