Dealing with breakup pls help

Hi - I’ve made a series of posts about my situation over the past few weeks. My bf asked to take a break from our relationship through text the first week of April. We haven’t spoken since. There’s a lot of outward details to this but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. My ocd is telling me the worst of the worst. He left me with full uncertainty because he didn’t give me a reason, and his decision felt like it happened overnight and I’m still so confused. He’s never been in a relationship as serious as this before. I’m incredibly hurt and angry, and my emotions get worse on Saturday and Friday nights because that’s when his frat parties happen. I do ERP phrases but my stomach hurts and it’s churning so bad. I deactivated/deleted social media apps for now because it’s too much. I just wish this physical feeling would stop. Does anyone have tips?

halfasoul

Date posted: 23w

the absolute best thing you can do is focus on u. fixate on doing something you want to, start a new hobby, something you really enjoy and can get lost in. spend as much time as you can with friends and family. don't let yourself be too dependent on him. from my experience, that dependence could push him away. :( just give him some space and you do you!! <33 you seem so genuine i hope everything goes well

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

@halfasoul Aw thank you so much. ❤️❤️I’ve been trying to!!! I’m trying to detach but then I’ll see a picture of us or some sort of memory and it’s so hard. I don’t know why it seemed so easy for him to do this, it was his first relationship. It’s just really hurtful and I’m trying not to take it personally. Don’t worry, I def am not and have not reached out to him!!

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 23w

Hey Gmoki! I am all too familiar with this feeling and I just want to validate that. Your feelings with this particular situation are SO valid. Being in similar/almost identical situations before (greek life), I know how volatile that can be. I know it’s pretty cliche, but something that helped me was just mental exercising. Picturing myself walking down that tunnel and into bright light at the end of it. Always remember, those who mind don’t matter & those who matter don’t mind. :-) wishing you the best!

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

@joshofsmith Omg hi - thank you SO much for your comment. Youre so right, it’s extremely volatile. I’m SO happy you understand where I’m coming from. I’m trying not to feel bad, think it was all my fault, that I’m ugly or dumb or whatever ocd is trying to say, and to not feel embarassed about sharing my ocd stuff with him. It’s so hard because he didn’t understand how my ocd made me not enjoy partying/drinking at his frat and he’d get really upset and tell me I need to loosen up. He also just didn’t understand or try to learn about ocd at all. Im also offended now bc he’d say things/send me things that would upset me bc he thought it was “exposure therapy” when in reality im already doing erp with a medical professional and he knew that. I was vunerable and I really loved him, it’s hard randomly just having him out of my life especially when it seemed felt so easy for him to do this. I was ready to love him throughout anything, but I guess he just wants to be a 20year old frat guy right now. That’s fine, I just thought he’d stick by me like he promised. The whole thing is just so confusing and random. Now, I’m trying to not picture him at sorority parties/getting other girls attention at parties. It sounds SO stupid but omg it’s so hard because I’m really hurt. Your imagery is not cliche at all!! I love it, I think I’ll try it myself. You’re so kind, I can’t thank you enough. I’m so sorry for ranting, you just made me feel seen here. If you have any other tips, please let me know. Thank you!!

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 23w

@Gmoki One thing I’ve learned and taken as a silver lining is that throughout my OCD journey, it has really shown me who is there for ME instead of who’s there for the feeling they get when they’re around me… I know that’s a word salad and a half LOL but genuinely that’s been one of the best things about my journey with OCD. A lot of “friends” and a girlfriend I thought I could rely on for anything left me due to OCD. I couldn’t be more grateful now that I’m on the other side of that and seeing who they are now. I have faith you’ll have a similar experience :) you are awesome and don’t let anyone tell you differently!!

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

@joshofsmith You are so sweet! I totally understand what you mean. I’ve been with my loved ones/friends and it’s made me feel closer to them. I’m so happy I have the support system I do. Im so sorry you went through that with your friends/gf, but clearly it was for the better. I hope I do have a similar experience!! You are awesome too, I can’t thank you enough.

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 23w

@Gmoki I’m not sure if it’s allowed or ok on here haha but feel free to reach out on any of the socials! It’s the same as my username here

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

@joshofsmith I’d love to. This is gonna sound ridiculous since I’m deactivated on socials for now but I do have a Reddit if u want to add me on there? I’m not like an avid Reddit user lol but it’s a way we can connect before I get my insta back.

OCDxJosh

Date posted: 23w

@Gmoki Not ridiculous at all! Yeah, my Reddit is u/floppingfeline

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

@joshofsmith Ok cool! I just sent you a message on there hopefully it went through

djohnswon

Date posted: 25w

Relationship Troubles

Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

OCD around my breakup

My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.

Date posted: 17w

Advice

Does anyone have advice for dealing with a breakup. This hurts so bad and my brain is torturing me. OCD makes it so much worse. It’s been a month already. I need to start letting go but can’t stop. Any advice for letting things go .. ?

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