@taboo_brain19 - How exciting to be in a new relationship. Im sorry you have to deal with OCD but it sounds like you're in a pretty sweet spot with him having a basic understanding of mental health. So my advice, you SHOULD tell him you have OCD and BPD BUT THATS IT. Your OCD is YOUR issue. I say this for 2 reasons. 1. it is for you to understand it and its no one else's business how it effects you, you don't owe anyone an explanation into your mental battles. and 2. it is your job to treat it, to do the work and use to tools to keep it in check, you can't rely on anyone else to manage your disorders. I am married to someone who i don't think has ever experienced a day of anxiety in his life lol. He has almost zero understanding of mental illness BUT he is very compassionate and understands that I struggle. So here is our arrangement. He knows i have OCD, he knows it can be debilitating, and he knows i have to take medication and see a therapist for it. he also knows how to spot when I'm asking for reassurance and knows not to give it. HE DOES NOT KNOW MY THOUGHTS! - let me really stress this. HE-DOES-NNOOTT- KNOOWW- MYY-THOUGHTS!!! They say that anyone who doesn't have OCD will NEVER fully understand it and i believe this. He doesn't need to know that iv had POCD thoughts about our friends kids, he doesn't need to know iv have False Memory OCD about cheating on him, he doesn't need to know that iv had harm OCD about stabbing our cats, he doesn't need to know that i have WEIRD thoughts. he wouldn't understand any of that and i would most likely hurt him because he would think " is my wife dangerous? is she a freak? is she safe to have around my friends? has she cheated on me??" The thoughts of OCD are not the problem, no thought is a bad thought. I'm serious. NO THOUGHT IS A BAD THOUGHT. The only thing bad is the anxiety and feelings we get FROM the thoughts because our brain makes us think the are important.
You don't control your thoughts, the average person has about 60,000 thoughts a day. NONE of which are controlled. the only think we control is which ones we deem important. i think some WEIRRRDDD stuff on every topic. Murder, R***, sex, Pedo stuff, it doesn't matter. they are just thoughts. th remind is the best place to have those types of thoughts.
OCD also LOVEESSS big life events. new relationships meet this criter, so having a POCD thought about his nephew is TOTALY normal, i did the same thing with my husbands neices and nephews, still do occasionally, but it doesn't bother me. The dental implant had the random butt screw thought lol? normal, sometimes our brains just glitch. it means NOTHING! DO NOT LET OCD LIVE YOUR LIFE. you know how ERP works, use it. Tell this new guy you have OCD, you have to do the work for it which means you shouldn't tell him about it or ask for reassurance or do ANY confessing.
Are you familiar with ALL the types of OCD compulsions? If not i can give you some material to review so you will know what to look out for.
sorry about the long post but long story short, there is nothing disturbing about your thoughts, none of it. Dont go into depth about your OCD thoughts with the new fella, only tell him you have OCD... he doesn't need to know anything else. remember, thoughts are out of our control, everyone has weird ones, they have zero reflection of who you are as a person.
a little trick i use on my super weird thoughts, i use humor. So for your thought about the screw. id maybe say " a screw in the butt? that's kinda useless unless he plans on hanging a picture on his butt. that's an interesting fashion statement" ORRR for simplicity, make it sing-song. think of a silly tune and then sing song the thought in your head ( lets use happy birthday) I wanna puuuttt a scrreewww in my nephewsss booottyyyy) ( happy birrthhdaayy tooo yooouuuu) you see? when you make something THAT IS stupid, SOUND stupid, you REALIZE its stupid.
You're going to be just fine!
