My OCD Academia

Date posted: 6d ago

Feeling Like I’m The Only One

Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 6d ago

You’re not the only one. I’ve had these thoughts, too. Almost like I may be forced to live a life I don’t want to.

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 6d ago

@Anonymous That is exactly how it feels. Like I’m being forced to change sexual orientation against my will. It sucks

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 6d ago

You’re definitely not the only one. SO-OCD can feel especially isolating because it attacks such a core part of our identity — and when we search for reassurance or comparison, it often backfires. The compulsions (like mentally arguing, repeating phrases, or scanning for “proof”) are your brain’s attempt to feel safe, not an indication of truth. The fear of “what if I’m lying to myself” is such a classic OCD trap. But the fact that you’re distressed by the thoughts — and still anchored in your genuine romantic preference — says a lot. OCD isn’t about desire; it’s about doubt. Loud, sticky, tormenting doubt. You’re not alone. And you’re not broken. You’re just someone navigating one of the most brutal forms of anxiety — and doing it with honesty and strength. I see you.

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 6d ago

@Rayanswaid Thank you for this message, it helps

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 6d ago

@My OCD Academia Welcome.❤️

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 6d ago

This a common struggle. Lots of people post about this exact same thing. It’s clear that you are not gay. Your OCD will mess with you on this, though. Maybe try these videos (and more by Nathan Peterson). I think his videos are really helpful: https://youtu.be/fQZwmmLkN8I?si=sIDHDV-ngJNg-fHh https://youtu.be/clOlsecReow?si=n_MnHeP3nJNdQQPk

Anonymous

Date posted: 6d ago

My guess is that men, especially straight men, share less overall about orientation and gender OCD. I really have a hunch that there are more cases than we are led to believe. Stay strong and follow your values the best you can!

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 6d ago

@Anonymous I believe that to be true as well, thank you for the kind reply

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 6d ago

@Anonymous I deeply agree. As a straight man myself, I’ve felt that internal pressure — the fear of being misunderstood, or worse, not believed. So many of us stay silent not because we don’t suffer, but because we’re scared of how it might look. But the pain is real. The OCD is real. And every time we speak up, we help break the silence for someone else who’s still too afraid to. Thanks for saying this.

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 6d ago

Soocd definitely makes it feel like you're the only one and yours is different but trust me it does get better with erp and/or meds (I recovered from soocd)

What is happ...

Date posted: 6d ago

I struggle with this too. Mine made me loose attraction to the opposite sex (females) and I had severe ‘false’ attractions to same sex (male) and this is still on going but I know Dee down this is not me. My attraction to females has slowly come back, not as strong as it was before… I was woman mad! I’m a married man to a woman with two children. Started around four months ago. Slowly I’m getting control of the OCD thoughts/feelings instead of them being in control of me. You’ve got this. It takes time. It’s harder to say than do too but just start not caring. The OCD gets bored then. I didn’t believe it at first but eventually I started to not care and I feel so much better than a month ago.

lostinOCD

Date posted: 5d ago

Isn’t it Sad. No matter how much I read about it the OCD it still strikes. I’ve never felt so lost and broken in my life. It’s like I want it gone but it’s been such a big part of my life anytime I get a break my brain just feels empty.

shopgirl

Date posted: 25w ago

Imagining the future

Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore

Sexual Orientation OCD

cows12465

Date posted: 20w ago

please help me

can someone with this theme help me i’m so scared and i can’t stop having panic attacks is this OCD??? So i always have struggled most with sucicidal ocd and harm ocd. i never really had any other themes. but recently ive struggled with SOOCD. My whole life i have never EVER been into girls ever and i could never even think of ever being with a girl in my entire life. i’m having extreme amounts of anxiety and i have compulsions to make sure i look at a girl and don’t feel anything towards them or anything. My mind is literally going “what if your just in denial” or “what if you’ve just been hiding it all these years” When i know i haven’t. i have all of the symptoms of SOOCD and i still know that im not gay,but these thoughts are extremely distressing and have been the worse to deal with. I’m constantly panicking and doing compulsions to get these thoughts to leave and they won’t. i’m scared and these thoughts are making my mind scared. What if i’m going against my morals and i’m lying to myself like and i just went through a tough breakup too so that is shooting these thoughts and anxiety. Please help omg!!!

Parisx

Date posted: 16w ago

SOCD is back with vengeance

I’ll cut a long story short… SOCD/ HOCD was one of the first themes I got when I was a teenager. The first one was health but I didn’t know that was OCD at the time. Anyway, I have had SOCD for 11 years. Sometimes it leaves me alone and it feels like I’m my own self again! Don’t get me wrong it lingers but I manage. But… IT IS BACK!!! My head is telling me that I am a lesbian and that I need to just admit it. I hate it. I have a boyfriend who I love unconditionally and this has just sprung out of a dream I had -.- I don’t want to be a lesbian! The groinal responses have always been the worst. It started when I was around 16, I woke up one morning and my brain just said ‘you’re a lesbian’, as you can imagine I freaked out, panic attack and cried. Then, my brain starts looking into my childhood… well it’s had a field day. When I was around 9 my friend showed me girls kissing on YouTube and then I suppose I got addicted to it. I then used to play on Habbo and walk up to girls and say ‘kisses’ etc. my brain is now saying that this is evidence that I’m gay. I DONT WANT TO BE A LESBIAN!!! I have no issues with gay people, I just don’t want to be gay myself. Sometimes, when the thoughts come in I don’t seem to get anxious but I get groinals and that freaks me out! I just want peace. I hate this. I get so many different themes. Now it’s this one and I just want to crawl under my duvet, sleep until they’re gone but then I end up dreaming about it!!!

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Feeling Like I’m The Only One

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