Anony1314
- Date posted
- 26w
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 26w
Hi there. I've had quite a a few subtypes of OCD over the years and pocd being one of them.
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 26w
@Garrett Maguire Could I ask you a question if this situation is the POCD I've been diagnosed with
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 26w
Sure, am happy to answer anything I cn
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 26w
@Garrett Maguire My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 26w
@Anony1314 please try to accept the uncertainty surrounding this situation. i don’t mean to come off as rude or anything, so i apologize if i do, but think of how many times youve asked people this, and how no matter what, you never felt better. someone has already told you that it was OCD, remember? but that didn’t help, because its reassurance. reassurance is a temporary solution and is not going to help you. are you in therapy? if you are, when is your next appointment?
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 26w
@viviii Yes I am and this week. Thanks friend. You think and believe it's my POCD, just as it happened?
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 26w
@Anony1314 i’m not going to answer that because it’s reassurance
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 26w
This is really typical pocd. First I would say you are a really good mom, but you are just struggling with an awful illness. I would say your are taking your thoughts too seriously as we all do. We all have conflicting and. crazy thoughts. The fact that they bother you shows you are a good person. Groinals are a physical reaction that means nothing about who we truly are. This is in my view 100 percent pocd and I have had a very similar situation with my child a few years ago. ERP therapy will give you back your peace of mind and put this all in a more realistic perspective for you. Until then stop punishing yourself, remember.....a bad parent/person would not care about these thoughts/feelings
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 26w
@Garrett Maguire Thank you!!! Even if every thing happened as I posted? Literally. I'm still a good mom. POCD?
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 26w
@Anony1314 For sure ❤️
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 26w
I know some of what I say may be reassurance, but as stated, ERP therapy is the only way to deal with this.
Related posts
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 25w
Really need encouragement
Hi friends. I deal with POCD. I'm sure many of you have seen my many many posts. I'm honestly a struggling mom. I just need some encouragement. That's all
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 21w
Please comment. I feel like I'm the only one. POCD
I feel so alone. Has anyone done what I've done with POCD?
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 21w
Please someone comment. Struggling POCD mom.
Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)
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