I’m new to the app, wanting feedback?

I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 9d ago

I have worked with couples and had them come up with an agreement about arguments. But, it does take both parties to agree to participate fully. The thing I work on is anyone can call a time out at any time during an argument for five minutes. That way, if things do start to escalate, there is a cooling off period that can be used. Hopefully it keeps everyone level headed. This is not for all day, every day. This is for when there are discussions that start to get heated. It can be helpful for sure.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 9d ago

I think OCD’s hallmark is intrusive thoughts that bombard your head 24/7. They are very hard to explain, but they are qualitatively different than other thoughts. My intrusive thoughts came in the form of sentences, actual words, that repeated over and over and over and over—just like they were being pumped into my head by an outside source. I couldn’t stop them ever, not even for one second of the day. You can imagine how distracting that was. I never couldn’t fully concentrate on school or card games or reading. It was tortuous, really. I craved silence in my brain, but the sentences would not stop repeating over and over and over. They were “loud”, like music in the background of your brain that never shuts off no matter what you do. This is different then repetitive worries that people have. Intrusive thoughts are a beast all of their own. I think if you don’t have the crazy part—the intrusive thoughts—then you probably don’t have OCD. (Which would be a good thing!!!!) But there could be other issues to work through. :):):):)

littlemiss.s...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9d ago

I have been on the NOCD app and in the community for almost 2 years. I have recently been experiencing some relationship OCD. I know how you feel, and on top of it, I am the type of person who does not like to go to sleep angry or upset. I feel like I have to resolve the situation right away. But my fiancee sometimes shuts down and just needs a moment to cool off, as Patrick McGrath has suggested. I have been trying to respect her space and understand that every person needs some different when it comes to an argument, and if she needs time to think, she will come to me when she feels ready. I know it's not easy, but you just have to work at that compromise everyday and remember that uncertainty is okay, you can do this❤️❤️ This community is very helpful in helping us understand how we are feeling and showing us that we are not alone in our struggles. I hope you find that it helps you feel supported as I know it has done for me the last two years❤️❤️

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 8d ago

Welcome to the app! Yes, this definitely sounds like relationship OCD. What helped me was getting an ERP therapist to do treatment specifically for these symptoms. You can get an assessment for OCD and specialized treatment for it through NOCD. You can keep seeing your existing therapist too if you like them. I have my general therapist I speak with for trauma and emotional stuff and family stuff. And I have my NOCD therapist and we focus specifically on OCD symptoms. Finally getting an OCD therapist was a game changer and brought an immense amount of relief.

Nocd1997!

Date posted: 25w ago

ROCD

Hi friends! I am someone who struggles with general OCD but have recently come to question if it is more specific to my relationship(s). In my heart, I feel that I am currently in the most loving, fulfilling and safe relationship that I have ever been in but lately things have been rocky. I find myself questioning a lot. Examples being: Is he really the one for me? What if I am missing out on something even better? Am I actually happy or am I lying to myself? Is this relationship doomed/am I doomed to be miserable in the future due to our age difference (met at 25 & 32, currently 27 & 35) I find myself trying to pick him apart more often than not lately, almost as though I am looking for something to fixate on in attempt to reassure myself of some of my already negative thoughts? I’m just curious if anyone out there that struggles with ROCD finds any similarities to the thoughts I am having? Sending love!

mint_moonlight

Date posted: 25w ago

Not sure? SO-OCD

Hello peeps! So for the past like 3 weeks I was struggling with SO-OCD where I was worried if I was gay or maybe Bi and so on. ( female) And I always thought I was straight or was straight but then the thoughts would come up and stress me out if i was either gay or bi. And the thoughts would stress me out and make me think a lot. I have a bf too for 6 years so as you can tell it caused quite a struggle in our relationship. Also been dealing with Relationship ocd as well which I feel like SO-OCD go hand in hand, in my opinion. It happened 2 Years ago too but this time it's just more intense I guess? So my question is, this past week I feel like I've been doing better, more okay than I was the last 3 weeks. But now I guess when I think about these thoughts or if I look at a female or see one I still kinda get what if thoughts or I do a compulsion and try to test myself if I would get with one and stuff. But now it doesn't bother that much. It's kinda like oh? Idk how to explain it but it doesn't give me that anxiety spike, at least rn. Sometimes it feels like my brain has accepted that I would? But like I can't tell if that's ocd or me actually being in denial still. It's hard to explain. But the other day I was at the book store with my bf and we were looking at the manga section and I saw a girl on one of the covers and it felt like I reaacted to her as a crush type deal? But I've always liked guys so it's confusing. I tried not to think too hard about it this week. But I do feel like if I see a attractive guy now or even a fictional one. It feels like my brain wants to skip passed it because it's not a girl so it's like "you can't look at a guy rn" Lmaooooo it sounds dumb but that's what it feels like 😂 Or sometimes I would think oh maybe I would get with one( a female)? And usually that line or thought would stress me out so much for the past 3 weeks. And now it's more like okay, maybe I would? But idkk??? So I guess my question is, is this like another ocd trick or is it me just like tired of the thoughts that my brain was like I need a break haha? Or could possibly mean I'm gay or straight just I'm denial or won't come out?? It's confusing I guess. I'm also in a relationship for years and I've been struggling with the thoughts cause obviously It causes a toll in our relationship. But now I just worry what if we're not compatible or like maybe I'm in denial? Like especially since the SO-OCD theme popped up it just makes me feel like what if I'm im the wrong relationship? It's just been tough cause it caused a dent in our relationship. Just relationship ocd things. He's been trying really hard to keep it together and not worry but I feel like I lost feelings for him due to all this worrying. I just get unsure what to feel or think now and days. ( ocd sucks lmfao) But I just wanted to know if someone has gone through something similar, if you are straight but had all these SO-OCD thoughts come and how did you face them? Also when I had harm ocd for a year, I literally did my best to avoid my bf cause I thought I'd hurt him cause I loved him so much you know? So this whole Relationship OCD and SO-OCD theme is annoying. I mean I hope it's SO-OCD and I'm not in denial but idk???? Ughshshhshhsgsggsgg. I have clinical depression too so it's even more confusing cause I be feeling emtionally numb sometimes so it adds more confusion haha 😎 I also just wanted to vent as well haha. Thanks for whoever took the time to read and whatnot! If you have any questions to ask me regarding what I said, I'm willing to answer too haha

Sammie2303

Date posted: 24w ago

Help

Hello everyone! I’m new to this app and I am just looking for some help or any advice. I am 20 years old and female. I constantly think about the past and what has happened to me and my boyfriend. (Mostly about him and his ex and if he liked her more). No matter how hard I try these thoughts just flood my mind and nothing that I do helps me avoid them. I have always had issues with constant thoughts about the past and things that are stressing me out, and they just don’t go away. I thought that the thoughts about my boyfriend’s ex would fade but i’ve been with him for 2 years now and they are still constant everyday. I feel like I have to know what she’s up to and check her social media daily, if not multiple times in a day. I also check my ex’s social media daily. I don’t want to do this but I feel like I have to, and If I try not to it just makes me feel anxious. My ex was verbally and physically abusive, I was 15-17 and we were together for those two years. I have gone to PTSD therapy and I still have thoughts over and over about what happened and I wonder if it was even real. Or if I’m even remembering what happened correctly. I have constant thoughts about him and what happened between us. I also have issues such as kind of twitching when i’m really stressed out or something isn’t “right” to me. I constantly have to clean and put things in their place. I have a routine that I do everyday, such as showering in a certain order, doing my skincare in a certain order, and doing things at work in a certain order. Is this normal? And how do I help these thoughts go away… Because they have gotten so bad that it distracts me all day and is interfering with having a future with my boyfriend.

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