How do you tell the difference between real guilt/shame verses something ocd. And what if it’s both? What if your real event ocd is something that really is very bad. And not just ocd.
It's still just OCD. I've done things that I feel bad about and regret, but outside of an episode, I am able to see the gray area in life and my mind doesn't obsess over the event. It helps to notice what is happening with your real event. Are you fixated on it consistently? Are you trying to figure it out along with why you did it or what you were thinking at the time? Then yeah, OCD. Neurotypical individuals literally just say "Yeah, I feel badly about that, I suck, can't believe I used to do that" and then move on. We need to coax our minds out of this cycle and back into reality. Good luck, I'm trying to get through it too.
@PoleekPelican I think I know it’s ocd. Well I do know it is. But with real event it feels confusing because there’s still a part of me that thinks If I did something bad I should face consequences regardless of whether the rumination is stemming from ocd. And the new spiral is figuring out what consequence fits the crime. Which means dissecting how bad it really was so I can determine how big of a grudge to hold against myself and how badly I have to ruin my own life to make things balanced. And I also don’t know if that itself is ocd or something else mixed up in my brain that thinks that. It’s complicated.
@Idontknowausername I get that. The cool thing is that all of us that suffer from real event deal with these exact issues. The feeling of deserved punishment is strong, but if it comes from a place of obsession, then it is unwarranted. Get out of this cycle and then consider this situation again. More often than not, the coals that you were so adamant to rake yourself over never existed in the first place.
@PoleekPelican Honestly, I think that with a rational mind I would still say a lot of the things my real event ocd obsesses over are still objectively wrong things. And then when I eventually become retriggered into my ocd I can’t even have the defense of my rational brain being on my side either lol.
@Idontknowausername That's valid. And I can only speak from my experience, but the real event for myself may briefly come back when I am in a new episode, but it is with less intensity. Usually my mind is more interested in a new theme or topic, whatever is more relevant in my life currently. I guess my only comment is that it we always assume that we know what OCD is going to throw at us, but it always goes off in places we don't anticipate. You could deal with this theme again, or it could be something totally different.
I so get this. This plagued me for years and, sometimes, still does. You know it's OCD when it's on an endless, spiraling loop; when you can't let it go; when it feels as if it needs to be resolved RIGHT NOW... Anyone can make a mistake, but that doesn't mean they deserve to pay for it mentally the way OCD makes us. Even in a world where you genuinely feel like you did something wrong, forgive yourself, and every time the thought comes up just approach it with indifference -- "Maybe I did something bad, maybe I didn't, oh well..." Once you do that, try to let the thought go... If there's one thing I've learned, it's that even if I did make a genuine mistake or did something wrong, if my OCD has gotten ahold of it, it's probably not as bad as the OCD is making it out to be... Stay strong and keep at it. Best of luck!
Does anyone have advice on distinguishing between real event ocd and false memory ocd? If my current obsession is whether this intrusive image in my head is a real memory even though there’s no evidence it is, does that seem more like real event ocd or false memory? I feel like I’m getting into a trap of worrying that I’m obsessing over a real event instead of a false image and keep having thoughts that say “you know you did this” even though I really don’t think I did.
How do any of you guys deal with OCD that’s latched on to something real? I don’t mean real event OCD but a real thing?
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
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